Screenwriting

Shoo. Loaded comment section.

Having a soldier for offspring, I'll just point out that women currently serve in combat roles in the U.S. military.

Whatever we think of the show's accuracy in a particular operation, the presence of women in dangerous forward positions isn't inherently implausible.

The military has plenty of criteria for deciding who does what. Possession of ovaries versus dangly bits isn't, by itself, the disqualifier it once was. Nor should it be. Good is good whether you've got your ovaries snuggled in tight or bits dangling like Stallone in Cliffhanger.

Exceptional work speaks for itself.

Now, whether Lioness gets the actual operational details right is a much more interesting question. That's what I'd like to know.

Michael Alan Elliott We - writers - all operate in the zone of ‘the suspension of disbelief’ - a prerequisite for most enjoyment or appreciation of drama and an important aspect for writers. Consider the audience. Superman cannot fly, Willy Wonka is a pedophilia story, Mary Poppins was probably a drug addict and some bastard shot Bambi’s mother. But we love these stories. Staying inside the suspension of disbelief is where it’s at - not for you - but for your audience.

Elle Bolan good question. It doesn’t get them right enough. It’s silly redneck stuff transfixed possibly from a trailer park who arrived to save your ass???? Don’t think so.

David Taylor ....good point about the willing suspension of disbelief but my combat belief is tempered by my experiences in Vietnam plus shows like "Homeland" and the movie "Zero Dark Thirty" . In the movie, Jessica Chastain was totally believable as the CIA field operator. However, she didn't get on the helicopters with the Delta Force to kill Ben Ladin. There's a guy on here, last name I believe is Green, who writes from his combat experiences in Afghanistan. If he said "yeah" the premise of Lioness is believable then I bow to his experience. Otherwise, let me enjoy my misogyny and STFU.

Elle Bolan : I admit I'm 78 year old dinosaur from a different time and era. However, I do mingle with more recent vets at places like the American Legion. In fact, my insurance agent was a Marine captain and company commander during the 2nd Battle of Fallujah and when they were kicking in doors, hunting for the Taliban, I'll have to ask him if there were women leading the charge. I doubt it because he would have mentioned it during the many conversations we've had about war and its consequences.

What is this Bollocks?? I never heard that word before????

Elena Schumann please forgive my rhetoric which was in no way aimed at you personally. sorry. The term bollocks means testicles and is a derogatory term OR a term of summary dismissal. I most humbly apologise.

Doug Nelson as ever wise words. An issue is the conflict between the fiction and suspension of disbelief and the reality of the experienced in the field being represented.

APOLOGY ACCEPTED!

Did we screenwriters actually think that the movie TRUMBO is fiction. If you have not seen it, watch it five times then get back to me.

Hey Will Berend - of course! There are several services that Script Services offers. There's a first-10 page review, script consultation and career consults. My personal favorites are the first 10 pages because it gives me a gauge as to how those pages grab the interest of the reader and set up the story. My other favorite is either the script or career consults because you get one-on-one time with the exec. There are others that you can find here: https://www.stage32.com/scriptservices. The one thing I would strongly encourage is to research what exec you sign up with. Make sure that person is aligned with your genre and your goals as a writer. Hope that helps!

Leonardo Ramirez thank you. I'll check it out.

What Joshua Young said. I agree. When I finished my first one, I did all of what you might want to do. Shared it, asked for feedback but now looking back, I know I needed to really look at how it really worked and make some adjustments. Unless it's truly feedback with someone not that you're pitching to.

Congratulations on completing your first screenplay — and on already taking it through professional feedback and rewrites.

From a producer’s perspective, the next step is to start presenting it not only as a screenplay, but as a film project. For a biopic, I would look carefully at the underlying rights and source material, then prepare a strong logline, a concise synopsis, the intended audience, comparable films, an approximate budget range and a clear explanation of why this story should be told now. Targeted outreach to producers who have already worked with similar material will usually be more effective than sending the screenplay widely.

This gap between “finished screenplay” and “project ready for producers” is exactly why we are developing Project Pearl at Sauban Film Productions. It provides a structured diagnosis of a project’s story, positioning, presentation materials and market readiness, helping writers understand what may still be missing before approaching the industry.

If this would be useful, I would be happy to tell you more or offer an initial diagnosis of your project.

Enter it into next year's Nicholl Fellowship comp via the Writers Guild Foundation website. BTW what's the logline?

You could interview students at schools that havent had a shooting.. and have all the drills.. and ask the same questions at schools that have had a student shooter. ASK "Do you feel the selling and marketing of shooter games, escalates Children to Violence?" I think it will show, strongly there too. Ask the Campus Cop. Ask the Principle. Ask the Crossing Guards What Training in Shooters they had to Take. Those are NOW Front Line Soldiers Each Day. Do You Feel the Marketing of Shooter Games on TV, Youtube, and Social Media, is a HELP or Hindrance in this now "shooting each day" world?? Do you wish they would quit teaching kids violence for school, at home?" Parents and friends Buy them. If the issue stood that way. Where This Little Kid YOU bought a bunch of Games that teach how to be really good and no mercy.. Assasins Creed.. Call of Duty.. This is what Little Boys Play all F'n Day. How does the campus cop feel about it, from different places. ?

You say "you could interview students" which would be a good idea, and then you go on with opinion answers. One is fact based the other is opinion.

I've already mentioned you should go out and read the research on all this.

As far as the education system, I've been in the classroom at the elementary, middle, and high school levels. What's present: no morals or belief systems being taught by parents because there's only one parent, lack of respect for self and others, no father figure present (or male role models: uncle(s) and brother(s)) and the verdict and research clearly shows a missing male figure impacts children especially young girls, and the list goes on.

The result is in some schools I've been in there's fights every day, many struggle with basic reading, writing, and math. Bad education will result in difficulty in the work force. This no child left behind has left a lot of kids behind.

Many kids dread the week off at Thanksgiving or two weeks off at Christmas, and summer break. Why? Their home life is shit because mom has three kids from three different men. Mom's face, the guardian's face is locked into a cell phone screen. There's been the slow destruction of the American Family.

School is the safe place, teachers can be hard, but the teacher will not hit them or tell them they're stupid.

So please, go read the research instead of sharing your opinions about how this works.

I HOPE THIS HELPS: if I had a gun on me in UK since my teenage years, I would have shot dead three people. I’m a really nice person. No question about it. I told this to a friend from Kentucky and he was horrified - because he knew it was true. THAT is the problem with guns. Whomsoever says otherwise is a liar.

I was born on a farm in 1945, I've always had guns around me, never once been tempted to misuse any. I've never felt that guns are a/the problem but people sure are.

Doug Nelson true of course. But when you looked around you at others what did you think?

Blis Fun That sounds like a promising concept, Blis. I’d be happy to hear more about the story and what you’re hoping to do with it. What’s the concept about?

Hi Jeniffer Cole . I am currently polishing up my final draft of a drama/gothic horror about a couple who, unbeknownst to them, adopt a demon's child. I am probably going to go thru an executive read/feedback here on stage32 first to see the reaction it gets before sending out queries for it.

Another one I have started recently is about a family member of someone who sold their soul to a demon for musical fame at the crossroads. Hmmm, I seem to have a demon theme happening here currently. LOL

I usually have a couple scripts working at the same time so if I get stuck on one I can switch to another until I can mentally work thru the stuck one. :)

As far as what process I love most, I would have to say coming up with the story itself before doing any writing. I and my spouse write together and we both love the story idea creation process the most. When one of us has an idea we run it by the other one, then we sit with a notepad and work out the steps (we are students of the John Campbell Hero's Journey process which has 12 steps) and build the story together working out any details that are finicky.

Then we get to work on the writing with one or the other starting it and then going over it together and then one of us continues the writing then we go over that bit and so on back and forth until we get a completed script. But we both absolutely love talking out the story first with each other. It's a nice way for us to connect in our busy lives and just delve into a fictional story and leave the "real world" behind for a little while. :)

The concept revolves around werewolves and a cabal of wealthy men who wish to capitalize on the power of the beast. A horror action film.

Hi Jeniffer! Happy to have you in the community! I'm currently working with writers to develop two separate episodic projects. With TV not doing so hot right now, I'm hoping I'll have these ready to go in my back pocket once things pick up again. What are you working on?

Lots of stuff

Nicholas P

There is a right way to structure a written pitch, and it comes down to leading with the hook rather than backstory. Open with the core idea or conflict in one clear sentence, since agents, editors, and clients skim before they read. Follow that with just enough context to establish stakes, using specific details rather than vague adjectives like "exciting" or "gripping." If relevant, mention one or two comparable titles to show market awareness without overclaiming. Keep credentials brief and place them near the end, and skip that section entirely if you don't have relevant experience. Above all, keep paragraphs short and avoid walls of text, since most people decide whether to keep reading within the first few lines.

Thank you Debra Withley I just want to make sure that I did it correctly. Inciting incident, fun stuff and conclusion. etc meets etc and the logline on page one.

No

Can I ask why you haven't said something sooner? Why wait a year?

No one can help if they don't know you need it.

I don't know what your experience here has been, but mine hasn't been like that at all. I've gotten spam, sure. I've gotten the overzealous pitches in my inbox. I've gotten the fake accounts trying to get me to send them my script.

I get the same on X, LinkedIn, and even Reddit.

Lordy help them, the folks on reddit think I'm smart and know a thing or two. Sssh. Don't tell them I'm not and that I don't have a clue. I didn't rhyme that intentionally, but I'm leaving it.

I'm sorry if you feel this place wasn't for you. It's probably not for everybody.

But. If you happen to still want or need help with... Whatever it is that happened a year ago, reach out to me. I'm not much of anybody, but I'll do what I can to try and help you figure it out.

And if it simply was the fact that you didn't get out of the site what you expected, we can talk about that too. I do okay over here, so maybe I can help you find some value here you didn't know about. It's kinda like AA. It's a slow process, but it works if you work it.

This place is community driven, you know? One hand washes the other.

If I can help you get more out of the community than you did previously, hit my inbox.

If not, tell me to sod off.

Hope you have a better day.

Hey Elle Bolan I know your comment is in response to the original post so my apologies for hijacking. However, I would love hear some tips on how you've used the site. I've been on for about a year, as well, and it really has been overwhelming to me. Therefore, I distanced myself. Recently I decided to give it another shot. So, if you're up for it I'd love to hear from you. I did send a connection request

Absolutely Will! Let me go accept that. Talk to you directly!

It’s all about collaboration.

I hope you have tried to inform the real Jennifer Roth that her identity has been stolen, so she can tell the police.

Yes, I followed through with her and she was very appreciative.

Please reach out to Ashley at community@stage32.com and let her know so she can look into the account! A link to the profile and screenshots if you can! That way the spam account can be taken care of.

It appears it is already deleted.