I can’t decide.
“A faint smile touches his face — lingering.”
or
“A faint smile touches his face — and lingers.”
8 minutes on this.
Why.
(But still.)
Curious to hear your thoughts — which one feels right to you, and why?
Screenwriting : 8 minutes on this line. by Deborah Bete
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3 people like this
It's that way sometimes, Deborah Bete. Spending a lot of time on one line. I like "A faint smile touches his face — and lingers" more. It sounds better in my opinion, and it grabbed my attention more.
3 people like this
Agreed, Maurice. "... and lingers" has more weight IMO. "Lingering" doesn't feel as strong a motive. Like Hitchcock said, "You can write 'A man walks into a room,' but HOW does he walk in?" Sometimes it takes much longer than 8 minutes :)
3 people like this
Yeah, lingers sounds more suitable. It's so direct oriented.
3 people like this
I choose — and linger Maurice Vaughan Dale Wolfe Aleksandar Lahtov
1 person likes this
English is not my native language, so I am possibly wrong, but here is my opinion. I have done a lot of no-budget filmmaking. I typically prefer the shortest option. “A faint smile touches his face, and lingers.”
1 person likes this
Lingers sounds best.
2 people like this
Deborah Bete Definitely -and lingers! Although -lingering is poetic, very lovely for an essay or short story.
2 people like this
'He smiles'. Let the actor decide, that's his job?
3 people like this
Yes, it is often a good idea to give the director and actors the opportunity to make decisions.
2 people like this
Juliana Philippi I choose - and lingers. Thanks