Hello, fellow players!
Actors, a new year is almost upon us, and our years, well, they don't seem to feel or move like other people's.
Audition...maybe a callback?...the void...then, out of nowhere, the Big Gig.
I've learned so much this year, having worked, "not a lot", in maybe the quantifying mind most people have. But I acted in an indie film shot in New Mexico, "Babybacks", and I walked the red carpet premiere of two films I acted in, shot in 2022 and 2023, "Delta County", and "Do No Harm", respectfully.
And...is that it?
Lol, that's what I was thinking before I learned, and am living life, like I am now. Following the clues the acting path is leaving me. Every audition, is a clue. What was it for, what type of character, did you like it, what did it feel like?
Then...the amazing high, you got a callback! Woohoo!!!! Did you do the same thing, were you nervous, did you feel like you had to impress someone, did you make it "perfect"?
And...if you don't hear back, which is most of the time what happens...the void...did you beat yourself up? Did you call yourself nasty names in your head? Did you compare yourself to other people out there, "making it"?
You're not alone. Been there, done that. Rinse, wash, repeat.
But, this year I allowed myself to...just flow, for a teeny tiny bit. I let go of the things I cannot control, and, I listened to my heart speaking to me, in between the auditions I didn't enjoy, and the callbacks I thought I should be getting.
"This role isn't the role you dream of...wait for it...it's coming..."
I allowed myself to dream again. I imagine the roles I do want to play, the females I want to bring to the world, the humans I want to being voice to, the women I want the world to see, and feel. Moms, immigrants, leaders, revolutionaries, femme fatales, spies, the women I feel I already am, somehow.
Suddenly, as I allow myself to be in joy, and happiness, and relax, there it comes...the Big Gig...and all we had to do, was just...believe, feel, and be.
So, as we close out 2026, what did your auditions feel like? How did the void affect you? How would it be, if instead of the fear of not being enough, you wrote down all the amazing things that make you perfect, for the roles you truly want to play? Have you ever written a list of the stories and roles you would love to be a part of?
Happy Holidays to All, and remember...Players...Play: )
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Matthew Gross this is inspiring. Congratulations!
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This is great Matthew Gross and an example how AI can help us in our journey. I use AI also and it’s a great partnership. Please, share your experience through a blog and inspire many of us. Congratul...
Expand commentThis is great Matthew Gross and an example how AI can help us in our journey. I use AI also and it’s a great partnership. Please, share your experience through a blog and inspire many of us. Congratulations for that and I am cheering for you.
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Matthew Gross, as Amanda said, I'd love to work with you to share this story as a Stage 32 Blog. Please do email me at Blog@Stage32.com!...
Expand commentMatthew Gross, as Amanda said, I'd love to work with you to share this story as a Stage 32 Blog. Please do email me at Blog@Stage32.com!
Ashley Renee Smith There's not much more I can say beyond what's in this post.