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THE 51ST STATE

THE 51ST STATE
By Ron Reid

GENRE: Thriller, Mystery
LOGLINE:

“What happens when a country known for being polite is used as the perfect scapegoat?” 

SYNOPSIS:

THE HOOK

It all starts during the New Year holidays in Tokyo. A coordinated cyber-theft strikes high-end jewelry stores across the city. No suspects, no witnesses, but within 48 hours, five unrelated Canadians living in Japan are arrested.

They’re offered a way out: sign a confession and get deported quietly. Most of them are ready to take the deal—until one woman decides she won’t.

OUR HERO: ROSE

Our protagonist is Rose. She used to be an ethical hacker who exposed a government surveillance program that tracked the trucker protests in Canada during the pandemic. She lost everything—her job, her citizenship status abroad, and her reputation. Now, she runs a boutique cake shop in Tokyo, designing elaborate wedding cakes and keeping her head down.

But when she’s suddenly arrested and accused of being the mastermind behind the heist, she realizes: she’s being set up again.

WHAT SHE WANTS

Rose’s external goal is to clear her name and expose the real criminals—an American tech conglomerate using the heist as cover for a much bigger digital theft.

To do that, she has to convince four other Canadians—complete strangers—that they’re being used as scapegoats. At first, none of them want to join her. But something’s off. One of them, who accepts the deal and "returns to Canada," is later seen in a surveillance feed—still in Japan.

That’s when everything changes.

Gregory Q. Jenkins

Rated this logline

Gregory Q. Jenkins

I think this needs a stronger hook. Something like "country X", know for it's politeness, is accused of "y", Now the gloves are coming off. Okay, that's not great, but hopefully it makes the point of how a stronger hook might get more attention.

Tye

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Tye

I agree with Gregory, don't ask what if.. something happens and because of that, there is conflict and stakes. You mentioned its told through the eyes of a Canadian woman - what is "her" story? interesting idea/concept - but like Brandon Sanderson says "ideas are cheap." whats the story. :)

Ron Reid

Tye inserted a few more things to help understand this world and what is at stake.

Thank you for input. Let me know if this is better.

Ron Reid

Gregory Q. Jenkins I added a bit more to make it stand out more with stakes and the Hook

Abdusamad Shafiev

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