Haunted by childhood memories of a drunken father, a hotshot film director, struggling with substance abuse, must conquer his demons to fulfill the mystical dream of a starlet who died in his mansion 62 years earlier.
I really like the logline, Bill Brock, but I suggest removing "must" (because "must" makes it sound like the main character is forced to conquer his demons, and "must" doesn't sound active).
Here's a logline suggestion: "Haunted by childhood memories of a drunken father, an alcoholic film director tries to conquer his demons so he can fulfill the mysterious dream of a starlet who died in his mansion 62 years earlier."
OR: "After ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion), an alcoholic film director tries to conquer his demons so he can fulfill the mysterious dream of a starlet who died in his mansion 62 years earlier."
You could also change "62 years earlier" to "62 years ago."
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I really like the logline, Bill Brock, but I suggest removing "must" (because "must" makes it sound like the main character is forced to conquer his demons, and "must" doesn't sound active).
Here's a logline suggestion: "Haunted by childhood memories of a drunken father, an alcoholic film director tries to conquer his demons so he can fulfill the mysterious dream of a starlet who died in his mansion 62 years earlier."
OR: "After ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion), an alcoholic film director tries to conquer his demons so he can fulfill the mysterious dream of a starlet who died in his mansion 62 years earlier."
You could also change "62 years earlier" to "62 years ago."
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Thanks, Everyone, for liking my little ghost story.
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You're welcome, Bill Brock.
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