I like the examination of a superstition. Intriguing idea.

Always intrigued by cultural superstitions and spirits. You may want to tighten the logline to include the protagonist, his/her ultimate goal, and the challenges faced in doing so.

Thanks Andy and Diane, I will incorporate your suggestions soon.

It's good to see depth and the old ways incorporated into a screen play.

sounds good, would be interesting to see how it develops.

Its great Wardan...would love to see the screenplay. Do you have anyone looking into this one. I love paranormal and horror, and always looking for materials for a company I have just started working for. Who knows...but if you have someone in mind or need my help in anyway...let me know Harun Shah www.harunshah.net

Sounds interesting, I would rewrite the logline: An Indian farmer must face the deadly spirit, Hakamai, in a bid to find his young son

interesting... makes me wonder if the village was haunted by some spirit, why the villagers wouldn't have abandoned it and moved elsewhere. Sounds interesting though, I'm curious about your story.

Thank you so much!

I second what Aarthi said; I also think your logline is too long. Try to see if you can keep the basics of your story in the logline. Forget about adding too many details which aren't necessary; save that for your synopsis. I don't know too much about your story's plot...as in the depth of it. I played with a concept and wrote a logline reflecting it here: The evil spirit could be psychological in nature almost like the farmer’s own manifested guilt from some past event that happened years ago which weighs heavily on his subconscious secluding him from the village. Maybe his son could also be a manifestation where the audience thinks he’s alive in the beginning only to find he died years ago in that event that haunts the dad. LOGLINE: When a young boy is kidnapped by a demonic entity haunting a village, his father—a guilt-ridden farmer, must journey to save his son while confronting his past. I hope this helps!

Hi Aarthi & Oriel, now you can take a look at it... I just corrected it.

I like both of Oriel and Aarthi's loglines. They are much clearer. Use one of them ;-)

Yeah Arnaud, but non of them reflect the exact story what I have written. I think Logline should be true to the script and not otherwise.

Logline is not sounding proper according to the synopsis Wardan! Can you improve it

Hi Bhawna, yes, here is the new one. Actually I changed it thrice. No one knows earlier Loglines. This is the new one :-)

This is not as clear as the "HANDS" one. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to focus on.

I like this one!

My comment is the same as the one I gave above.

Sounds like a movie I'd watch

Very interesting idea! I am intrigued!

Sounds interesting Wardan, like the conflict of pragmatic vs. superstitious

Hey many thanks SJ ;-)

interesting story, But you reword stuff to hook people. I mean what happened to chintu? does he have a story to tell? Do people go out and look for him?

I liked this. But I think films like this need a good director in order to maintain the beauty of the story. I wish you success.