THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
Post your loglines. Get and give feedback.
YOUR TURN
By Harold Ferré
SYNOPSIS:
Alex, a charismatic and self-assured high school student, dominates a small group of friends whom he both amuses and impresses. One evening, he proposes a game: a series of challenges "for fun." At first, they seem harmless—a theft, a prank, a provocation. The challenges escalate, becoming increasingly dangerous. The game spirals into a collective obsession, a mix of excitement and unease. When May is injured, the laughter fades. The group begins to fracture, but Alex refuses to stop. He imposes one final challenge: to go to an abandoned factory "to seal the pact." In this cold, deserted setting, the tension reaches its peak. Caught between fear, defiance, and control, the teenagers lose their grip on reality. Tragedy strikes. Silence falls. Alex erases the evidence, as if to deny the event, but in Inès's eyes, everything is said: the game has ended, but the marks will remain.
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Hey team, I just wrote a super stylish draft. If you'd like to give me some feedback, I'd really appreciate it!
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What do you think of that?
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Hi Harold Ferré - interesting premise but it's missing some specifics. What is the goal of the protagonist and what would happen if he didn't achieve that goal? You don't have to use this template but it does contain the elements needed for a logline. You can use it as a checklist.
“After ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion), a _______ (an adjective and the protagonist's position/role) tries to _______ (goal of story) so/in order to ________ (stakes).”
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Is the protagonist's goal to drag all his friends into an endless game? Or are you referring to the reason why he's dragging them all into his absurd game?
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It's crucial to know where to turn when trying to develop an original idea like mine! So I'm listening! Your opinions matter a great deal!
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I would ask what he's trying to achieve by dragging them into the game (the reason).
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Bingo! And that's it, the jackpot is sealed! Very nice reflexes, Mr. Leonardo Ramirez. I'll rethink my idea and try again, see if it works!
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Harold Ferré You have an interesting idea. I agree with Leonard, on all points. Just a little more flesh on these bones would be awesome.
Thank you all for your sincere feedback. I'm going to add a new touch to this synopsis, reworking the foundations. That said, my protagonist's objective is clear.
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