THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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MICKEY
By Philipp Müller
SYNOPSIS:
MICKEY is a slow-burn psychological crime drama about the high cost of survival in a world built on money and secrets. Wall Street prodigy Mickey Cavarelli seems to have it all — wealth, pedigree, and a picture-perfect family. But when a failed trade leaves him exposed, he agrees to deliver a sealed envelope for an old friend — a favor that ends in a judge’s suicide and the collapse of a mob case. Mickey is implicated. And just like that, he’s in. What begins as leverage becomes a leash. The Ferro crime syndicate uses Mickey’s financial expertise and elite access to move illicit funds, blackmail officials, and manipulate markets. On the surface, he’s still the golden boy — but behind the curtain, he’s laundering millions, hiding bodies, and making deals with devils. Each job promises to be the last. None of them are. As the noose tightens, Mickey fights to protect his wife Maya and daughter Sophia, even as his actions put them in greater danger. His brother spirals, federal agents close in, and a woman from the underworld — equal parts elegance and threat — becomes his handler. By the season’s end, Mickey has crossed every line he swore he wouldn’t. He’s not just trapped. He’s becoming what he feared.
MICKEY
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I really think Mickey could be a hit, Philipp Müller!
I think your logline needs to be tightened up some. Here’s a logline template that might help: After/when ______ (the inciting incident/event that sets the plot in motion), a _______ (the main flaw the protagonist has to overcome in the script or an adjective that describes the protagonist’s personality) _______ (the protagonist’s job/career/role) tries to/attempts to/fights to/struggles to/strives to/sets out to/fights/battles/engages in/competes/etc. _______ (goal of story and try to add the obstacles here) to/so/in order to ________ (stakes).
The inciting incident can also be at the end of the logline: A _______ (the main flaw the protagonist has to overcome in the script or an adjective that describes the protagonist’s personality) _______ (the protagonist’s job/career/role) tries to/attempts to/fights to/struggles to/strives to/sets out to/fights/battles/engages in/competes/etc. _______ (goal of story and try to add the obstacles here) to/so/in order to ________ (stakes) after/when ______ (the inciting incident/event that sets the plot in motion).
Loglines are one or two sentences. A one-sentence logline sounds better, and it takes less time for a producer, director, etc. to read it. Try to keep your logline to 35 words or less. Long loglines can make producers, directors, etc. pass on a project.
Avoid using “must” in loglines. “Must” usually means the protagonist is forced to do whatever they need to do in the story instead of doing it willingly. You might need to use “must” in a logline though, like when the protagonist is forced by another character to do something. Using “must” to choose between two options is fine.
Names in loglines are usually for biopics, well-known stories, and franchises (like Mission: Impossible).
Sometimes I put the location and date that the story takes place in instead of the inciting incident if it’s a Period Piece script.
All stories don’t follow this logline template. Biopics, documentaries, and Experimental scripts might not follow the template. The series logline for a TV show can follow this template, but the pilot logline and episode loglines for the show might not.
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Thank you so much for the detailed feedback — I really appreciate you taking the time. You’re absolutely right about the logline needing to be tighter, and your template gave me some great clarity.
I’m still learning how to best translate the tone and complexity of Mickey into a clean, high-impact sentence — but this gives me a stronger direction.
Thanks again for the encouragement and insight. Grateful to be learning from voices like yours.
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You're welcome, Philipp Müller. I'm looking forward to watching Mickey!
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In your logline, the main character doesn't have a goal. It's just a description of the plot's beginning, so it's unclear what the character wants.
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I really liked reading your script, you are very close withy your logline. I would love to see what else you got to this idea.
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Thanks for your insight Arthur - I will try to fix that.
I’m happy about any insights i can get, thank you all this might actually be the friendliest community.
Thanks for reaching out Lauren,
I would be more than happy to send you my show bible - feedback would be awesome, im looking forward to connect.
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