THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
Post your loglines. Get and give feedback.
THE KILL LIST
By Kelvin Thornton
Haunted by secret kills committed after returning from war, a decorated sniper volunteers for a
covert jungle mission—only to turn his sights on the corrupt system that made him, as his kill list
begins to target fellow soldiers.
SYNOPSIS:
Eli Strayer is a decorated U.S. Army sniper—precise, loyal, lethal—but the medals can’t
quiet the ghosts. Celebrated at home, he’s unraveling inside. Plagued by PTSD and
disillusionment, he starts executing predators the system ignores—abusers, traffickers,
war profiteers. His kills are clean. Unnoticed. To the world, a veteran; to himself, a loaded
weapon with no safety.
Quietly redeployed on a covert jungle mission, Eli hopes to silence the noise—only to
uncover a deeper rot: commanders protecting monsters, humanitarian aid traded for
weapons, soldiers committing atrocities. Orders blur. One forbidden kill becomes many.
He executes a soldier assaulting a child, dismantles an informant who sold a girl to rebels,
and takes out a corrupt commander in broad daylight—his most public strike yet. Jackson,
a fellow sniper, tracks the pattern. Command declares Eli rogue.
As the list grows, justice tilts toward obsession. Jackson delivers hard proof. Elite squads
mobilize—but Eli has already vanished, transponder dead, trail cold. The jungle becomes
his sanctuary and his battlefield. In the final act, Eli hits a black-market airstrip run by
American interests, exposing aid-for-weapons and human trafficking. His last shot
wounds—not kills—a high-value U.S. contractor: a warning that this war is personal now.
Final Image A flickering bulb in a freighter’s hold. A map slashed in red. Eli circles a name:
HYDRA BASE: BLACK WING.
Register / Log In
Rated this logline
Thank you for the rating. I appreciate it.
Rated this logline
Interesting idea — it definitely has cinematic potential. I’d just like to clarify a couple of things.
First, the word “predators.” My initial impression was that you meant animals — like wolves or bears — but I assume you’re actually referring to people, maybe abusers or criminals. If that’s the case, it might be clearer to say “predatory individuals” or simply “criminals who escaped justice.”
Second, his motivation. Why exactly does he want to destroy the system? He’s a sniper in the army — and realistically, you can’t just take down the entire military. It would help to define what part of the system he’s turning against, and what drives that shift.
And one more note: try to avoid phrasing loglines as open-ended questions like “Will he destroy the system or not?” Instead, be specific — if he’s going to destroy it, then say he does (even if that’s part of the tension). If he doesn’t, clarify what choice he makes. Loglines should express clear stakes and direction, not ambiguity.
Rated this logline
Aleksandr Rozhnov, it says predators he believes escaped justice as in realistically when you're thinking something escaping justice, it's commonly the first though when reading the logline you automatically think it's people and not an animal; you get that by simply reading it knowing an animal in it's habitat doesn't have justice, but the code of the wild. His motivation is that he's seeking justice for those who he feels escaped it in the first place and he's going to get that justice not only for himself, but the others who were effected by these so-called predators. I think it's a fitting logline and tells the essence of the story. Thank you so much for your constructive thoughts and opinions. I really appreciate them.
Thank everyone again for your ratings and your thoughts. They all are welcomed.
Rated this logline
I appreciate the rating. Thank you.
1 person likes this
You're a very good writer, Kelvin, and write very visual (cinenatic), for my mental state right now, almost too visual. Hilarious, coming from someone that worked for many years on a holocaust movie, isn't it?! Maybe because of all the shit going on in the world, it feels too real for me. Don't know.
1 person likes this
Maybe so. Thank you for your kind words. Yes, it's a lot going on in the world but the stories we tell can brighten someone's day or enlighten them to the truth.
Rated this logline
Thank you for the rating. I appreciate it very much.
Rated this logline
Rated this logline
I gave a polish on the logline and synopsis. I think it shines better now.
Thank you all for the ratings.