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An assassin hunted by a vigilante must reconnect with her team and surrogate siblings to prevent their former black ops syndicate from deploying new-generation super soldiers, all while treachery brews in that very organization..
Think: Black Widow meets John Wick via a whiff of The Bee-Keeper
SYNOPSIS:
Mamba is an assassin raised in the deadly arts. A perfect killer whose weakness is being haunted by a choice: she killed a child whose father was the target. 15 years later, she now works for herself but is a deadly vigilante, known only as Mongoose, has killed almost all of her former teammates. One of two survivors, Seven, provides Mamba intel that their former agency — the Lodge — is soon to release new generation super-soldiers. After years apart and having broken from the Lodge for different reasons, they don’t quite trust each other but know they must stop the Lodge and the Director who is secretly following their moves while treachery brews right under her nose.
Mamba and Seven infiltrate a Lodge facility to bring out Lion, their other former teammate. The mission is a success but proves near fatal… Mamba sees flashes of a dreaded checkered floor room, memories of her mother’s death, and her father’s disappearance. And her trust in Seven and Lion remains tenuous. After a confrontation, the three realize that their only ease has been the trust they used to have in each other as a surrogate family. They capture a lower-level Lodge operative for information but are ambushed by the Mongoose — who is revealed to be the boy Mamba spared 15 years ago — and captured by Mr. Green — who has been working to seize the Lodge.
Tranquilized, Mamba has a nightmare reliving her Lodge initiation: she was forced to kill the pupil she bonded with most in the checkered floor room. She wakes, sees Mongoose, and tells him he chose to become a killer and thus is more human than her. Mongoose still vows to kill Mamba. The Director has Mongoose sent to be indoctrinated and she tells Mamba of her parents: they were assets of the East German Stasi and gave her to the Lodge, a contingent Soviet Bloc operation. Mamba is devastated and forced to fight the Vipers, the Lodge’s new generation super-soldiers to initiate them in the checkered floor room. Meanwhile, Lion and Seven break out. Mongoose, too. And Mr. Green initiates the final step of his coup. All Hell breaks loose. Mamba kills the Director and escapes with the Vipers as Mr. Green sets bombs to demolish the Lodge and flees.
Outside the Lodge, Mamba fights Mongoose, gets the drop… spares him, and explains that 15 years ago she wanted to change who she had become. Mongoose is moved… makes peace. The Vipers are handed over to Interpol.
A month later: Mamba, Lion, and Seven make their first move against Mr. Green’s newly organized underworld syndicate: Medusa.
Accolades:
Semifinalist, Stage32 4th Annual Action/Thriller Screenwriting Contest (2024)
Quarterfinalist: ScreenCraft Action & Adventure Screenplay Competition (2024)
Semifinalist: ScreenCraft Action & Adventure Screenplay Competition (2023)
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Thanks, for the ratings, y'all.
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"Black Widow meets John Wick via a whiff of The Bee-Keeper I'd watch this, Michael Dzurak!
I think your logline needs a better flow. Something like: When an assassin hunted by a lethal vigilante discovers her former black ops agency is deploying new-generation super soldiers, she reassembles her team to survive and stop their creators.
I try to avoid using "must" in loglines because “must” sounds like the protagonist is forced to do whatever they need to do in the story instead of doing it willingly, but that's not a rule. If the protagonist is forced to do whatever they need to do, "must" works better.
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Interesting take, Maurice Vaughan 5. However, if you "must" know... (-_-) Sorry, let's rewrite that...
I use "must" to convey a requirement and thus potential failure to get at stakes. However, I do like your version, "when" is a very good logline word.
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Michael Dzurak The logline is structurally solid but feels generic due to vague stakes and an overused premise—with sharper stakes and a clearer, more original hook, it could earn a much higher rating.
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