THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES

Post your loglines. Get and give feedback.

THE BOX

THE BOX
By Kristina Van Kirk Hoffman

GENRE: Comedy
LOGLINE:

After the death of his mother, dutiful Catalina Ferry pilot, Henry Cole, can finally pursue romance and his dream job in San Francisco until her ghost appears and royally screws up his plans.

THE BOX

View screenplay
Maurice Vaughan

Rated this logline

Maurice Vaughan

The Box sounds fun and funny, Kristina Van Kirk Hoffman!

I think you're close to a solid logline. I suggest taking Henry's name out of the logline. Names in loglines are usually for biopics, well-known stories, and franchises (like Mission: Impossible).

I also suggest telling how his mom's ghost screws up his plans.

Kristina Van Kirk Hoffman

Thank you Maurice for your suggestions. I'd heard including the protagonist's name was recommended, but I'll look further into that. I will noodle sharing how the ghost screws up his plans. I do provide more info in a paragraph synopsis, but I didn't see a space on this page for that. (FYI she, the ghost of his mother, cannot take her eyes off of him 24/7, which puts a wrench in his love life. He knows this from discovering her in the room. After observing her son in the act, she's decided he needs a tutorial to up his game). I just uploaded a poster for promotional purposes. I look forward to checking out your latest endeavors.

Maurice Vaughan

You're welcome, @Kristina.

"The ghost of his mother, cannot take her eyes off of him 24/7, which puts a wrench in his love life" and "After observing her son in the act, she's decided he needs a tutorial to up his game." I like that! Those scenes are going to be so funny!

There's a space to post your synopsis underneath the logline section.

Abdusamad Shafiev

Rated this logline

register for stage 32 Register / Log In