THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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UNDISPUTED 5
By Ramil Safarli
"Keçmiş döyüşçü Boyka ədalət və qisas arasında qalan sivil həyatda öz yerini tapmaq üçün mübarizə aparır. Özünü və sevdiklərini xilas etmək üçün son dəfə rinqə qayıdır və yeni əfsanə yetişdirir."
SYNOPSIS:
"Keçmiş döyüşçü olan Boyka, zorakı keçmişinin kölgələrindən uzaqda yeni həyat qurmağa çalışır. Mədəni bir insan kimi yaşamaq istəyən o, ədalətlə qisas arasında çətin seçim qarşısındadır. Keçmişinin kabusları tərəfindən təqib edilən Boyka son dəfə rinqə qayıtmaq məcburiyyətində qalır - təkcə özünü və sevdiklərini qorumaq üçün deyil, həm də dünyanın ən böyük döyüşçülərini qorumaq üçün. talelər”.
UNDISPUTED 5
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2 people like this
Great title, Ramil Safarli. I think your logline needs more details about the story. Here’s a logline template that might help:
“After ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion), a _______ (an adjective and the protagonist's position/role) tries to _______ (goal of story) so/in order to ________ (stakes).”
Loglines are one or two sentences (a one-sentence logline sounds better and it takes less time for a producer, director, etc. to read it). You can add the antagonist in the logline.
The inciting incident can also be at the end of the logline: “A _______ (an adjective and the protagonist's position/role) tries to _______ (goal of story) so/in order to ________ (stakes) after ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion).”
Avoid using names in a logline (unless it's a Biopic or a famous story -- like a fairy tale). Use an adjective and the protagonist's position/role instead of a name.
Avoid using “must” in loglines because “must” sounds like the protagonist is forced to do whatever the goal of the story is (instead of the protagonist doing it willingly), and “must” doesn’t sound active. Audrey Knox (a TV literary manager) also said this during a logline review webinar on Stage 32 (https://www.stage32.com/webinars/The-Write-Now-Challenge-The-Logline-Rev...). Instead of using “must,” use “attempts to,” “fights to,” “struggles to,” “strives to,” “sets out to,” “fights,” “battles,” “engages in,” “participates,” “competes,” etc.
Example #1:
“After a group of dog criminals arrives in a small town, an impulsive dog sheriff defends a dog treat factory so they won’t steal food that’s meant for hungry dog families.”
Example #2:
“A dysfunctional couple works together to survive against bears after they crash on an abandoned road miles from help.”
NOTE: Not all stories will follow this logline template. Biopics, documentaries, and Experimental scripts might not follow this template. The overall logline for a TV show might not follow this template, but the logline for an episode in the show could.
Rated this logline
Thanks, I appreciate your thoughts. It's just that I can't fully express my thoughts because I don't know English well. if i could express i think it would be good. I wrote my script in Turkish and I know that the story does not meet the requirements of "Logline". But My Scenario is Different and very interesting.
1 person likes this
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