Here it is my new script, i hope you enjoy https://www.scriptrevolution.com/scripts/roommates Any feedback will be great.
Your Stage : My comedy script by Joao Antonio Nsita
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My man... checked out your first page, homie. Do you own a Screenwriters' Bible?
no i do not why?
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You asked for feedback, Joao. Take what you like, disregard the rest. Screenwriting is never personal, my friend.... SB is the A1 book for beginners. Your writing/storycraft shows you haven't read it. Please pick one up to familiarize yourself with current spec guidelines. If you'd like to check out my 'pro approved' work see: https://www.stage32.com/profile/185490/Screenplay/Hollywood-ending-2 ... pay particular attention to direction/description/action and the first 3 pages and how there's a major turning point at the bottom of each page. Hope this helps - Happy Holidays, boss!
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i didn't mean it like that shawn sorry for any offence, but i am still learning how to write sitcoms, i'm regularly getting feedback through the comedy crowd website. so don't take my work seriously as yet, but thank you for taking time in reading my script and i will check out your link, cheers happy thanksgiving mate
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You didn't offend me in any way, my friend. I started adding a disclaimer for my 'feedback' posts: "Take what you like, disregard the rest. Screenwriting is never personal, my friend".... because some aspiring writers do take it personal. It's a reminder - I'm here to help. S32 is here to help you achieve your goals. That's what we do, buddy :) I work for U!
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cheers
Joao it's always a good idea to spell check and grammar check your writing before posting it anywhere. Also, read teleplays in the genre you wish to write in. They're going to help you see that your formatting is off for sitcom writing. As Shawn said, you're in the right community. Plenty of resources here on stage 32.