Hello, Fancy Writin’ Hollywood People. Scene: I was working out at my local gym yesterday, when suddenly a female work colleague (from a good 15 years ago) saddled up to the machine next to mine. My plan was to turn to her and offer a cheerful “Hello,” but it’s 2025 and we just don’t do that anymore. So, it was on to Plan B: Write a quick exchange in my head, preferably something funny.
BROCK: Hey, Debbie? How ya doin’?
DEBBIE: Oh, Hi, Bill! My gosh, it’s been ages. How did you know it was me?
BROCK: It was easy. I recognized the wig.
Care to play along? Jot down quick surroundings below, followed by some fun, wacky, quirky dialogue, created by that Big, Delicious Brain of yours.
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Bill Brock Most Certainly,
Int: V/O
Debbie: You know what! Brock?
Brock: What?
Debbie: No one deserves to be reminded about their flaws.
(Scratching her hair with some dandruff falling off)
Brock: I dont believe that, but that Wig seems to be flawless to me.
Vuyolwethu Gwadana Sorry that you were triggered by my words of COMEDY. Plus, follow the directions. I’m looking for ORIGINAL scenes from writers. No need to ride the coattails of what I created.
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INT. GYM - DAY
Packed place. Everyone in here is either like "Yeah, let's go!" or "Is it time to go?"
BILL (a guy who thinks he's handsome, smart, etc., etc.) runs on a treadmill, working up a sweat.
A beautiful, kind woman named DEBBIE gets on the treadmill beside him and runs.
Bill does a double take and thinks "That's Debbie! Wow, look at her!"
BILL: You still look incredible, Debbie.
Debbie stops running and stares at whoever this guy is, creeped out.
DEBBIE: How do you know my name?
BILL: It's Bill. Bill Brock.
Her face drops. Bill squirms nervously.
BILL: What?
Debbie steps off the machine, fuming. Balls up her fists.
DEBBIE: Bill Brock who cleaned out my bank account and skipped town. On my birthday.
Bill stares at her, bug-eyed and mouth open wide like a bass.
BILL: No, that's another Bill Brock.
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There was this extremely sympathetic couple where I stayed. They showed their less than a week old baby to two friends. The little one was asleep so they all stood there and chatted. After a while one of them stated that the baby must have something wrong with her eyes. They all agreed and it was uncomfortable. Afterwards I realized what they must have seen. Then I wished I had asked them if they know about the rock band R.E.M. Because REM means Rapid Eye Movement. And that their baby's eyes moved, not because it was something wrong with them, but because she was dreaming.
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I was at my gym at 6: AM and there was an adult woman working out like she was in an Olympic event. As I was 'phoning in' my workout, I wondered what could prompt such motivation.
The answer to that question is going to become my first short film...
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Maurice Vaughan HAHAHAHAA! OMG, Maurice! NAILED IT. Thanks for the morning laugh. Great opening. Fun Middle. Iconic conclusion. This was a good time. You’re hired!
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Wal Friman An excellent assessment, Wal. Wonderful imagery. I could actually see the entire scene playing out in my head. Ah! REM. Legendary Band!! I’ve been a fan since they opened for THE POLICE back in 1983!!
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James Fleming Nice work, James. Love what you did with “phoning in” at the gym. If you were to take a look around my gym, the only things getting a workout would be “athletes’” thumbs tapping away on phone screens. Best of luck to you on your next endeavor.
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Maurice again has it, hands down. But then...she assaults him and HE gets arrested. There we go. Modern life.
You're welcome, Bill Brock. Thanks for the job!
Thanks, Jon Shallit.