Well... it's been waaaaay too freaking long but I finished another script. Draft 1 so this one has to sit in the proverbial drawer for a while but it's been about 1 new script a year for me. I dabble in my revisions and outlines all the time.
LOGLINE: "When a mercenary pilot’s wife is taken hostage by an oligarch, he takes on three missions to get her back."
The script takes place in a dystopian 2099 that has vibes of "Bladerunner" and "Cyberpunk 2077", big corporations run everything, technology is wildly developed but has dangers but who cares because money's everywhere! Whoo!
Anyway, the sci-fi dystopia part is not in the logline but then, I don't think that part is necessary since Page 1 establishes that.
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Congratulations on finishing another script, Michael Dzurak!
I think you should mention in your logline about the Sci-Fi dystopia part because if the logline doesn't hook a producer, executive, director, etc., they might not read the script.
I also suggest changing "three missions" an adjective. Maybe "three dangerous missions," "three impossible missions," etc.
You could also give the pilot and oligarch adjectives if you want. They'll give the reader more insight into the characters.
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Thanks Maurice Vaughan the missions certainly sound better as "dangerous" or the like.
hmm... I don't understand why an oligarch can't hire a mercenary pilot? I think the logline should be revised to avoid such questions.
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and yes, congratulations on writing the script.
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You're welcome, Michael Dzurak.
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Arthur Charpentier The missions are high risk and could set off a war. As the oligarch explains, while showing the hero his wife tied up on a monitor: "Money’s terms can be revised or betrayed on a whim. Not that."
However, you are right, I need to work on this logline.
And also your daily reminder that draft 1 is meant to suck LoL, but it's something to work with.
Let's keep writing!