Greetings! Recently wrapped polished versions of each script in my trilogy and now working on ancillary material. Just looking for general feedback. If you'd like to read any or all of the scripts, feel free to reach out. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1hj3bILO0JVG47XJlNJXAEqI-zRdvvfxE/view?u...
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mind blown by your bible—it’s so polished! I’m not an industry pro but to me that’s really outstanding!
I’d be happy to swap a script or excerpts thereof with you…
Sure! Shoot me a message.
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This is really fantastic!
Thanks Darrell! Anything more specific?
Well, just the entire package is impressive and very unique looking from what I have seen before..
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Hi Daniel Allen , congratulations on your bible!
Here are my suggestions:
- Trilogy: usually, it's not ideal to pitch an entire series at once, presenting all the seasons. Producers usually focus on the initial season and may consider greenlighting additional seasons later on. It's best to introduce only the first season, ensuring it has a clear narrative arc and a satisfying conclusion, while suggesting that more seasons could follow.
- Plot: add a slide dedicated to the plot. Now there's the logline in the cover and a summary for each season, along with additional details in the timeline. Consider writing a longer, yet concise, summary of the first season that provides more information at the beginning, such as including the inciting incident.
- Characters: move Frank Wilson at the beginning (second slot?) because now the second character you introduce is Frank's widow, but we still don't know who Frank is. If after writing the summary for the first season, you think the description of the characters contains duplicates, consider adding details such as internal conflicts or pains.
Hope it helps!
Wow great feedback Chiara thank you so much!