What if kindness wasn’t a good thing?
I’ve been working on a supernatural folk horror story called The Cost, and it explores a simple but disturbing idea:
What if the more you give… the more you lose?
It follows a young boy who discovers a hidden field where strange figures beg for food and help. Believing he’s doing the right thing, he keeps returning—until he realizes too late that they’re not taking what he gives… they’re taking something far worse.
I’ve just uploaded the treatment, and I’d genuinely appreciate any feedback, thoughts, or impressions.
I’m still growing as a writer, and currently making it into a script, so any advice or support means a lot.
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The truth may be far more intruiging than fiction and often darker
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this is a great idea! My strong suits are family, children's stories and emotional drama. I wouldn't be the best to give feedback but I do love the idea!
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Thank you so much, I really appreciate that! Even hearing that the idea resonates means a lot. If anything stood out to you emotionally or visually, I’d still love to hear your thoughts.
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Adedayo Yusuf This is a really haunting concept “kindness as something dangerous” is such a strong and unsettling idea.
I especially like the simplicity of the premise, because it makes the horror feel more real and inevitable. The image of the boy returning again and again, thinking he’s helping, while something unseen is being taken from him is genuinely disturbing in a good way.
It feels like it could build into a very powerful psychological and folk horror story. Curious are the figures meant to be symbolic, or more grounded within a specific mythology?
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Thank you so much, I really appreciate this!
I’m glad the idea came across the way I intended. I wanted the kindness to feel genuine at first, so that the horror comes more from the realization of what’s actually being taken.
For the figures, I’m thinking of them as something in between—slightly symbolic, but still grounded in a kind of folklore logic. I didn’t want them to feel completely abstract, but also not fully explained, so there’s still that unsettling ambiguity around them.
That tension between “what they are” and “what they seem to be” is something I’m really interested in exploring more.
Thank you again for the thoughtful feedback!
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A lot of David Cronenberg's work is around the concept of something being taken as a consequence of something being given. I've also written a short film script based on this premise from an idea I had years ago.
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Intriguing story! I’m curious about the back story of the dad and how the act of generosity is given and valued by the boy. Can the things the spirits want have a conceptual significance? Can there be colorful elements to getting the items they want? I’m excited about how you craft the details of this great story idea.