THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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NYCHA
By Roberto Negron
When a boy living in NYCHA public housing outgrows the window guards in his bedroom, his decision to take them down teaches him what a messy, harrowing experience it can be to stick your head out the window for a breath of fresh air.
NYCHA
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this is not a logline it is just a statement - research what a logline is exactly and try again - best
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Hello Roberto, you got a very interesting concept on your hands. Here's a suggestion for the logline:
"When a boy living in public housing decides to take the window guards down in his bedroom, he learns the hard way such guards are there for a reason."Also, the following logline template might help:
"After ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion), a _______ (the protagonist with an adjective) tries/attempts to _______ (goal of story) so ________ (stakes)."
Loglines are one or two sentences (a one-sentence logline sounds better and it takes less time for a producer, director, etc. to read it). You can add the antagonist in the logline. The inciting incident can also be at the end of the logline.
Avoid using "must" in loglines because "must" sounds like the main character is forced to do whatever the goal of the story is, and "must" doesn't sound active. Instead of using "must," use "fights to," "struggles to," "attempts to," "strives to," "sets out to," "fights," "battles," "engages in," "participates," "competes," etc.
Example #1:
"After a group of dog criminals arrives in a small town, an impulsive dog sheriff defends a dog treat factory so they won't steal food that's meant for hungry dog families."
Example #2:
"A dysfunctional couple works together to survive against bears after they crash on an abandoned road miles from help."
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