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In 1899, a bounty hunter tries to deliver a daring criminal to the state capital for the death penalty. However, the bounty hunter is prevented from doing his job by the criminal's partners. They want to capture a prisoner. They need to find out where the stolen money is hidden.
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I think you can remove the word "execution." So, "In 1899, a single-minded lawyer tries to deliver a daring criminal to the state capital for the death penalty..."
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I spelled it wrong. It's actually a bounty hunter. I'll fix it now.
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How about: "In 1899, a bounty hunter tries to deliver a cunning criminal to the city for the execution of a death sentence, but the prisoner's former accomplices try to take him so they can find out where he hid stolen money."
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Thank you, Maurice!
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You're welcome.
There's a " on the end of the logline. You might want to delete it.
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This could work if it focuses on the relationship between the bounty-hunter and the prisoner.
It is their relationship that is revealed in the script, Richard.
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Workshopping... Condense it maybe? "Things turn ugly for a bounty hunter when a group of criminals try to free his prisoner, who is the only one who knows the location of their stolen gold." I like the idea. Logline just needs a little somethin'...somethin'. I don't believe the timeframe/date is needed. Loglines usually accompany a pitch deck or a poster and so that should be clear that it's a Western. :) You could add it though... like, "In 1899, things turn ugly...." Best of luck!
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The line, "They want to capture a prisoner" is a fatal flaw suggesting the author is not fully familiar with English language syntax. Must be changed or it kills the whole logline, which would be unfortunate because there's a lot of potential in this premise.