THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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PRIMAL
By Nadir Akhmerov
A rich and selfish businessman accidentally moves back in time 10 thousand years ago, then gets acquainted with primitive people and begins to teach them to develop and be civilized, while trying to find a way to return to the future.
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1 person likes this
Tremendous premise, good logline except for poorly written sentence; "...accidentally moves back in time ten thousand years." Drop the "ago" and end the sentence. A new sentence; "He becomes acquainted with primitive people..." Also, how do you move back in time ten thousand years "accidentally"? Needs to be fleshed out. Something like "...after a nuclear accident..." or "...after returning to earth from a near-light-speed experiment..." or something clue-like.