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A thief with an illegal time machine risks his life retrieving incriminating evidence for criminals to pay for his estranged daughter's life-saving operation. But as the physical toll of time travel leaves him near death (when you change events your body is battered on the return trip), he must outwit a ruthless mob boss and make one final sacrifice to save her—and redeem himself.
SYNOPSIS:
Phil Macklin (53), a weary thief fresh out of a high-tech prison, is determined to turn his life around. His daughter, Crystal (32), lies gravely ill in the hospital, needing an expensive bone marrow transplant to survive. Estranged after she discovered his criminal life, Crystal is reluctant to accept his help, though every day she comes closer to death. Phil vows to make things right but struggles to find honest work.
As he leaves his daughter’s room he sees an old friend, Carl Clark (78), a fellow thief on his deathbed. Carl gives Phil the key to a hidden, illegal time machine, urging him to use it for "small jobs" with minimal risk. Time travel is strictly regulated, and altering the past comes at a heavy cost—travelers are physically battered by the shifting timeline, the new events literally hit your body. Depending on how much you’ve changed history, the blows can be life-threatening. Desperate to save Crystal, Phil reluctantly accepts.
Phil’s first job involves retrieving incriminating evidence for a corporate criminal, launching him into a dangerous new career as an "evidence thief." Each heist grows riskier, and the toll on his body intensifies as he erases digital files, intercepts DNA evidence, and evades a Time Crime detective tracking his every move.
When a ruthless mob boss coerces Phil into retrieving a murder weapon from 20 years ago, he faces an impossible choice. The long jump back could destroy his body, but the mob boss promises enough money to save Crystal and secure her future. And this job involves murder— something Phil never was involved with before. How can he make amends and abet a killer? But the clock is ticking for his daughter. So Phil prepares meticulously, knowing it may be a suicide mission.
At the murder scene, Phil secures the weapon but plants a crucial piece of evidence—a pen touched by the mob boss in the future—ensuring justice can prevail without implicating himself. On the return trip, he suffers catastrophic injuries but delivers the gun and collects the money. Barely able to stand, Phil mails a tip about the planted evidence to the DA, ensuring the mob boss will be caught.
Phil reaches the hospital and gives the money to Crystal, bidding her a heartfelt goodbye. With nothing left to lose, he uses the time machine one final time, traveling back 30 years to meet his younger self. On a stoop in Queens, he warns his naive younger self against a life of crime, advises him not to knock off the local pool hall and hands him money to build a better future. As Phil disappears, rewritten by his better past, his younger self sets out on a new path.
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1 person likes this
Stan Evans, your logline has strong emotional stakes and a clear sci-fi hook. The time travel mechanic where changing events causes physical damage is a great twist that adds urgency and consequence. The character’s motivation is heartfelt and relatable, and the tension with the mob boss adds a solid layer of conflict. To tighten it, consider streamlining some of the phrasing (e.g., breaking it into two sentences or trimming excess detail) so the core setup and stakes hit faster. A slightly more concise version could make this shine even more.
1 person likes this
Thanks, Ashley!