THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES

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JAMAL'S CRAZY RICH LIFE

JAMAL'S CRAZY RICH LIFE
By OB Nwani

GENRE: Comedy, Animation
LOGLINE:

A 12-year-old aspiring inventor dreams of following in his internationally-known inventor uncle's footsteps, using his inventions to help his family, friends, and community while avoiding the risk of them backfiring.

JAMAL'S CRAZY RICH LIFE

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OB Nwani

Rated this logline

DeShawn Buckner

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Marcos Fizzotti

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Tasha Lewis 2

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Nate Rymer

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Kakha Beridze

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Oleg Mullayanov

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Josiah Cosgrove

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Chase Carmichael

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Chase Carmichael

Here's my take. The pros: I like the aspect of a talking gecko as a great companion for a main character who is rich and isolated from others & himself, the butler seemed okay, and the gecko's energy is brilliant in some sense. Sadly, the cons are: the logline is confusing, the screenplay has so many problems within the dialogues, action lines, and character names, the main character's energy should be optimistic, persuasive, and deep for the entertainment value and not feeling disengaged not only to the character itself but also the audiences. That said, I gave you 4 stars because I believe you can fix the errors on your screenplay and make the characters feel deep and caring while being outrageously funny. Matter of heart and comedy to attract the audience. Keep up the good work.

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