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ORDERS OF BATTLE (WRITTEN WITH ROBERT RUSSO)
By James Austin McCormick
A troubled veteran finds renewed purpose when he's called on to join a resistance against alien invaders
ORDERS OF BATTLE (WRITTEN WITH ROBERT RUSSO)
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Sounds great. The stakes are high and the protagonist is firmly established.
2 people like this
Hey James! This is coming along nicely, I think you can just rearrange this a bit to be more active, clarify the inciting incident, and tease the stakes. Though I might be getting nitpicky, as I'm aware this is a short and it'd be enough info were it showing in a film festival listing. But see if you can get closer to the "When/After [INCITING INCIDENT OCCURS], a [SPECIFIC PROTAGONIST] must [OBJECTIVE],or else [STAKES]." formula maybe?
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Thanks so much for the feedback :-)