Hi Simon, this reads more like the beginning of a blurb for the back of the novel than the logline for a script. The logline for a script needs to introduce the protagonist, who they are, what they want, and what the stakes are. For example, the logline for Jaws might go something like, "When a greedy mayor refuses to close the beaches after a shark attack, an ocean-phobic police chief must journey into the water to stop the shark before it takes more lives."

Thanks Nathaniel, much appreciated. Glad you like the description :)

Nick, this is the second part of a novel series that's being adapted for TV and film, hence the similarity to a book cover description.