THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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CRY HAVOC
By J.B. Storey
A dogged police Sergeant interviews a mysterious, grieving father about the vicious slaying of gang members under investigation for the murder of his daughter.
SYNOPSIS:
Synopsis/Details:
A violent reprisal has left the police on high alert, but short on suspects. Their best lead is the distraught father of a young girl who was killed after being caught in the cross-fire between rival gangs. None of the pieces add up. The truth is muddied by carefully constructed lies. But when the truth starts to emerge and the facts come to the fore, it's clear; this was merely the tip of the iceberg. The death-dance has only just begun.
CRY HAVOC
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That rating from me was a whoopsie. For some reason I can’t delete it. Sorry.
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I like the concept but the logline as is leaves a lot unanswered. The adjectives could be dropped and interviews/investigation is a confusing repetition, which is where I got lost.
Without reading the synopsis, I can gather that the police were investigating a gang following the murder of a young woman/girl, but then they were found viciously slain (as opposed to gently slain?) and the girl's obviously grieving father is a prime suspect, thus the interview with the police.
I like those elements, but I think you can find a way to repackage them AND insert more personality into the cop and/or the dad.
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Nathaniel Baker Thank you for the kind rating!
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