SYNOPSIS:

In September of 1588, 130 ships of The Spanish Armada were wrecked off the coast of Ireland. Most of them foundered in Donegal Bay and Blasket Sound in Kerry where thousands of Spanish Soldiers were washed ashore. Popular myth has it that most of these soldiers were slaughtered on the beach. With the exception of the fanatical Ovenden’s who killed 310 Spaniards and English soldiers who butchered 1,500, there is no verifiable historical record that the Irish people took part in any slaughter. However, a few men of some clans could not resist the temptation to relieve the Spaniards of their gold or other valuable possessions and in some cases, even their clothes. Lucky was the Spaniard who was found by an Irish Lass. Many of these Irish lassies took pity on the handsome young Spaniards and gave them refuge in their hearth, home - and heart. What the Irish men thought of this is not well known. Our heroine, Victoria Mallory is a young seventeen-year-old, “Old Maid”- not taken for wife. In a year she will be too old to wed. She has dreams of Knights in Shining Armor and Castles in Spain. The sad reality is that she is living in a small cottage with; Fat Fred the hog with the cold nose he pokes in unsuspecting peoples’ rear, Brown Betty the cow who thinks she is human and likes to eat at the table, a hen house full of clucking hens that prefer laying eggs in peoples’ hair, a Leprechaun-seeing father and a frustrated wife for a mother. A mother who wouldn’t mind having a Spaniard of her own under the bed. Victoria’s secret pleasures are wearing revealing under garments and secretly reading erotic poems from the Portuguese - a death penalty if she is caught. Just when she is about to despair, she finds a handsome young Spaniard hiding under her bed. After her initial shock she has to devise a plan to hide him from the world outside - as well as her own mother. Zany, ribald comedy ensues. 90 pages.