Unique concept, Georgette Skolnick! PRECIOUS COMMODITY sounds action-packed and thrilling from your logline! I like the title! I’m looking forward to watching it!

Maybe change “a drug cartel's decision to take over America's water supply” to “a drug cartel taking over America's water supply.”

You could give the Secretary of Homeland Security an adjective if you want (the main flaw the protagonist has to overcome in the script or an adjective that describes the protagonist’s personality). It’ll give us more insight into his/her character.

I think “races to stop him by any means necessary” works, but you could go into more detail if you want. But I suggest telling who “he” is.

Maurice and Tasha, should I add, "the Secretary of Homeland Security ignores his daughter as he races..." , and at the end add, "...in this action-packed thriller" ?

Is "ignores his daughter as he races" important to the story, Georgette Skolnick?

I don't think you should put "in this action-packed thriller" at the end. I suggest saving that for the pitch and/or the pitch deck and treatment.

Sounds possibly interesting, as it raises questions. How could a group take over America’s water supply, with all the different regions and sources of water? Then why would they do that? What would they gain?