THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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DR PAIN
By Deriq Carr
SYNOPSIS:
Recruited by an elite College for the wealthy and famous, Dr Paine takes a job that changes his life forever. A specialist in hypnosis Dr Paine has a knack for suggestion, meaning if he really wants to he can guide a persons mind. The cool kids at the school do not like Dr Paine and make his life a living hell before they beat and shoot him in the classroom. She awakens from her coma a woman, combined with rehab over a period of ten years, and she is pissed. Once she leaves the hospital the nightmare of her experience never leaves her memory. In days a homeless man kills a woman, but does not remember doing the dreadful deed. Another little boys stabs his teacher to death, wakes up next to the dead body with the knife in his hand, but remembers nothing. Five similar murders happen in the next couple of weeks. Detective Carrie Faggins is put on the case by the state. She specializes in criminal Homicides of a peculiar nature. Her investigation leads her to Dr Paine who is hired as a special consultant there to hypnotize the suspects after several other doctors tried and failed.
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LOVE IT!!!!!
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Errm... possessive pronoun confusion. In the first clause, you have Dr Paine as male (his students), then in the second clause Dr Paine is female (her life).
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What kind of students? What common flaw unites them to make a this a "Monster in the House" horror flick? Instead of "wants everyone involved to pay," use "exacts agonizing revenge on each so they atone for her ten comatose years."
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For example, if they were urbanly oppressed students of her high school Fiction class, they'd beat her to a Pulp - give us more of the phat flavor and less of the fax's facts
Great questions. Dr. Paine was written as a Woman, my bad. But character can go either way.
The students had gotten rid a previous teacher at their college. Dr Paine’ only mistake is trying to help. But these students, needing to protect their parent’s reputations fear that she may learn their secret.
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We have enough male vigilante movies Deriq... why not make her transform into a badass female one... sorta like a female-driven "Count of Monte Cristo"
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Phil Clarke What if before the attack the teacher is a dude? Use the logline typo mistake.
The pompous college students cut off his johnson and BBQ it. So he is forced to turn into a she. That'd be a good reason to make 'em atone. They certainly wouldn't recognize Her ten years later... very "Count of Monte Cristo"-like
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Lol
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I love that
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Brian Shell Yep, that's a twist all right! But it would need being made more distinct in the logline - so it doesn't feel like a typo.
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It will be very easy to make the adjustments to my script, based on my current format.
You still need some kind of adjective that describes what kind of students they are. Pledging members of a stuck-up, pompous fraternity during hazing? That'd be a reason for the (random??) attack.
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Props to Brian Shell for his amazing reawakening of wonderful mystery.
got your pronouns mixed up at the end...
Maybe use "after they castrate him" instead of "after losing his...." - it utilizes a power verb instead of the adverb with the ...ing
I’m creative but not that smart, love all the comments. And I truly love honesty