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SYNOPSIS:
In 1910, Ireland, a young girl becomes an apprentice to a witch/healer - they are persecuted when the authorities/church discover their witchcraft and must escape to the new world - they carry with them, and must protect, a chest that contains all the ANCIENT SECRETS in their care - one risks an old merchant ship to Sydney, Australia, the other on the safest ship in the world to New York, the Titanic.
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Interesting concept. Good luck with it.
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Nice work Chanel
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Interesting screenplay. Read it in one stretch. You certainly know how to draw the reader in.
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This isn't bad and you really excel at dialogue that matches the time period. However, I would suggest adding more action than dialogue to your scenes. We tend to say more through action than with words. I'm also uncertain what the story is fully about--is this about a witch and her apprentices experience through a different time? I think the story has promise I would just recommend really finding the root of your story and all it entails, then structuring it into acts for structure and clarity. Definitely consider a beat sheet/outline for writing. From what I have read, you should establish your main characters inciting incident early on. All in all you have some good ideas and I wish you the best going forward!
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Very well written. Curious to know what happened to it, as the screenplay was posted an year back.
Thank you for taking the time and your kind words, Shankar - I've had some good expressions of interest, but in the end it was an inability to secure funding - I have a successful international director who is assisting me, but again, it's lack of funds - you can imagine my frustration - you have read half the story, there is a sequel awaiting completion where all the threads of the story tie-in and culminate 70 years later - again, thank you.
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I want to thank you for your wondrous story. I was enthralled from the word go and enjoyed the whole journey. I am slightly bias as I originate from Ireland myself. Derry City in the North. I now dwell in Merrie England. Have you finished the sequel yet? I am itching to read it . Thanks again - love Phil Keys.
Thank you, Phil, that is very kind of you, for "protection" reasons I am not prepared to release the sequel - it's not quite completed, though the story is - the twists and turns and who does what to whom would surprise you, the story commences in Sydney 1995, goes back in flashback and reveals the significance of 1995 and who surprisingly is still alive, enough said, I think, but I thank you again.