THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES

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ONCE UPON A TIME IN HELL

ONCE UPON A TIME IN HELL
By Miroslav Trcak

GENRE: Horror
LOGLINE: A group of assassins with different criminal records get an incredibly well-paid job, find themselves in a notorious place, where they face something unexpected and beyond any human comprehension, and now, their only goal is to fight for survival at any cost.

SYNOPSIS:

n/a

Phil Clarke

Not a bad draft of a logline, Miroslav, but there are just too many vaguely-handled details. This is a very common issue with loglines from writers who are too focused on not giving much away and, consequently, end up giving us not enough.

For example, "a notorious place" - where is this? how is it notorious? "something unexpected" -- too ambiguous, so we can't glean anything significant, and the same goes for "beyond any human comprehension" - how so? This then leads to a final sentence clause that. because of the vague detailing that's gone before it, means very little to the reader. "their only goal is to fight for survival at any cost" - how is this so? How can we comprehend the goal, the stakes etc. when you've given the reader such a dearth of information? It feels too generic, too placeholder.

Moving forward, I would strongly advise you include some salient details, especially about the goal, the opposition/antagonistic force, and the stakes, so we can get more of an understanding about what this group of assassins is up against. This will also better define your story, communicate a stronger U.S.P. and allow it to live in the mind of the reader. Best of luck, and by all means get back to me if you'd like to talk further.

Marcos Fizzotti

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Bobby G

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Nate Rymer

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Tasha Lewis

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