Rather vague content for a logline. You need to be telling us a little more. Yes, you want to tease, but not so we don't really know what the story is about. Make sure you convey the lead's story goal, what/who opposes it, and what is at stake.

If you'd like some more help with loglines, I've put together a handy helpsheet. Message me if you'd like it.

Thanks Phil Clarke for your input, I’ll go back to the drawing board on this one. It’s my first short film so I am finding it difficult to summarise into a logline without giving everything away.

No problem. If you want that helpsheet, get in touch. It's free.