THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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THE MARTYRED SAINTS
By Rzwan Cabani
In financial despair, five childhood friends unknowingly rob a mob owned front, and when a ruthless collector is sent for the money, things take a lethal turn when he learns the identity of one of the thieves... it's his estranged son.
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This sounds really good but I will say the logline is a bit long. I've struggled with this too. A good rule of thumb for crafting a logline is this: When THIS happens, THIS person must VERB THIS, before (or else) THIS occurs. It should also be no longer than 28 words. I look forward to reading more about this. :)