SYNOPSIS:

Two ships are competing for the America’s Cup. One is helmed by fat, loathsome New Zealander Robert Montgomery, the other by tall, good-looking American Jeremy Troy. It’s a close race as they near the finish, when one of Robert’s crew falls overboard. Robert refuses to spare a moment to save the man, but Jeremy doesn’t hesitate to divert his vessel and rescue the man, letting Robert cross the line first. Sure, there was a flotilla of rescue craft hovering about, but Jeremy wasn’t about to risk the poor crewman not surviving long enough ‘til someone else got there. At the awards ceremony, it’s announced that by failing to rescue his own crewman Robert’s disqualified (an obscure rule about which Jeremy knew) so the American’s won anyway. Back at the office—which he owns, because he’s like Tony Stark without the Iron Man suit—Jeremy gets an update on the search for the perfect location for the firm’s new server farm. The corporate guys have located a dying old north Texas town that the state will flood out for a new hydroelectric plant if Jeremy will agree to a long term lease. Only problem’s an old brick factory that’s keeping the town’s economy on life support, but Jeremy orders that his minions buy it out and clear the way for his server farm. He then rushes off to tend to his father, Sam Troy. The old man’s living in a home and suffers from Alzheimer’s, which makes things difficult for the staff and hell for Sam. Jeremy tries to manage his father, but Dad’s haunted by memories of his dear departed wife and first-born, “Jo-Jo,” whom evidently was the son groomed for success a la Joe Kennedy Jr. Meanwhile, it just so happens that the brick factory is owned by Robert, who learns of Jeremy’s interest. Robert proposes that Jeremy compete with him for the brick factory. Turns out Robert’s firm sponsors a sports team in that little town, and the team’s a perennial doormat. He proposes that if Jeremy takes the team over and they win one game, Robert will sell him the plant for a buck. Jeremy demurs, ready to build elsewhere than truck with Robert. But senile Dad recalls how Jo-Jo would never back down from a challenge, so Jeremy agrees to the competition. It’s only then that Jeremy asks what sport this team plays, and learns that it’s rugby. The factory’s team, consisting of aging factory workers, is led to its latest loss by grizzled Nathan Davies. When the team hears that they’re getting a new coach, Nathan of course protests the most. Jeremy shows up at the Davies home, where he’s to rent a room. Nathan’s daughter-in-law, Allison, keeps the house together and takes care of tweener daughter Becky since Allison’s husband, Nathan’s son, went MIA in Iraq. Jeremy meets the team, and instantly alienates the players, who all quit immediately. Undaunted, Jeremy sets out to recruit a new team. But all he can recruit are the high school kids who couldn’t make the football team—including Hugh, Becky’s inevitable love interest, who got kicked off the football team for an error that cost them the championship last season. Jeremy tries to teach the game to the kids, but it’s not working and Nathan steps back in to coach them up. Jeremy accepts this, and takes a role as manager, bankrolling the team and a new field. The reconstituted Lonestars take the field and promptly win their first game in five years, with Hugh playing a starring role. The team and the town are busy celebrating their one and only victory, and it isn’t long before Jeremy and Allison are hooking up. Unfortunately, precocious Becky has overheard their lovemaking, and now hates both of them. Jeremy takes this as his cue to jet back to L.A. to tend to business, but now he no longer wants to destroy the town for his server farm/hydro plant; he wants to improve the brick business. Robert, however, reveals a piece of “fine print” in his bet with Jeremy: Robert gets to pick the team that Jeremy must beat, and he picks the New Zealand All-Blacks, the Yankees of international rugby, whom Robert pays to go on a US promotional tour . Jeremy now really regrets never reading that fine print. Jeremy visits his dad again, who’s lucid enough to make clear to Jeremy that in his opinion the wrong son died, though he still can’t admit that Jo-Jo committed suicide under pressure to live up to his father’s expectations. Jeremy returns to Anarene, where he’s the toast of the town—until he explains in painful detail the entire story of the bet and his initial plans for the town. By the time he’s done talking, the town’s trashed the clubhouse and the team’s abandoned him again. All except for Nathan, who tells him that beating All Blacks will be easier than winning back Allison. At the factory, we get to hear Robert’s mole tell him everything we just saw about Jeremy’s confession to the town, and Robert arrange for the brick factory to be destroyed right after the All Blacks destroy the Lonestars. Allison’s come back to Jeremy, after discovering that he was the team’s secret benefactor bankrolling the new field and clubhouse. The day of the big game comes, and it looks like the Lonestars are going to forfeit when at the last minute they show up. The game starts, and the All Blacks are toying with the locals until a penalty leads to the Lonestars actually scoring. Then they actually earn a score, and are down only by one at halftime. In the second half the game’s still close, and the All Blacks start playing dirty, leading to Lonestars getting carried off with injuries. Nathan’s short-handed until Jeremy reminds him that Hugh’s on the bench. Nathan reluctantly puts him in, and of course Hugh scores the game-winning goal. Robert honors the bet and all is well in town, Jeremy and Allison make up as we fade out.

LONESTARS