This happens also in real life, when we look at students bringing in arms to schools, or like in Norway, where people disliking other colored people, get in a blind attack. Is not just happening in the camp with Jason Burgess

Not a bad start, but could be less vague esp. re: "mysterious relationship". Also, watch your grammar and spelling and missing indefinite articles.

What Phil said, plus your word order is awkward.

Since stories are about people, "Mysterious Relationship" should be more prominently mentioned. As it is, it's an afterthought.

For the same reason, I personally don't believe you should start a log with a THING. Make it about the Character, i.e., "A student writes a screenplay that.."

It also works for me if the setting comes first, "At a Prestigious College, a Student..."

But never, "A screenplay written by a Student at a prestigious college..."

After all, since the screenplay doesn't really exist it's ultimately a McGuffin.

At a prestigious college, a student writes a screenplay..... I like that start. It sounds much better. I'll work at this. Thank you all for your feed back. Very much appreciated.