Ray Crites This logline captures a familiar but emotionally resonant teen drama setup, with themes of identity, self-worth, and unrequited love. The emotional stakes are clear, and the character arc, an outcast finding the courage to stand up for himself, has strong audience appeal. To strengthen it, consider hinting at the tone (is it gritty, dark, coming-of-age, or romantic?) and what “standing up for himself” truly entails. Does it lead to confrontation, transformation, or unexpected consequences? A touch more specificity could help it stand out in a well-tread genre.

“This is not your average coming-of-RAGE-story!” I like that, Ray Crites! It’ll be great as part of your pitch!

I think your logline needs a better flow, and I think the last part is vague. Here’s a logline suggestion: When a bullied high school outcast sees the troubled goth girl he likes fall for his sadistic alpha-bro tormentor, he tries to/attempts to/fights to/sets out to/fights/battles/etc. _______ (goal of story and try to add the obstacles here*) to/so/in order to ________ (stakes).