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A king with his new found abilities struggles to protect his kingdom from a genocidal maniac.
SYNOPSIS:
Tanire the king of the land Vos Domus secures his victory in peace. Returning home to celebrate he's overcome with guilt of his past and decides he won't be celebrating. His friends, his family pressure him and he cracks. He enjoys himself amongst his friends and kingdom untill...Don. A man known for his horrific acts of violence knocks on his front door. Don with his cult burns the kingdom down leaving his warriors, friends, and family scattered. Tanire is lost but found by a man who promises him absolute power. Tanire denies but is forced. He gains extraordinary powers of an entity known to inflict Madness that rivals the God's if not more powerful. He struggles to control these powers. He finds his way back to his friends, family, and people learning that some have been captured. While Tanire adjusts to his power trying to hide that he has any to begin with. Dante shows up an individual of hate and resentment towards Tanire. The group that set out to look for Tanire, arrives just in time to save their people. Some of Tanires warriors are captured. After the battle Tanire captures Dante and they return to their destroyed kingdom with the hope to rebuild. Dante challenges Tanire's honor but revealing the truth behind him. His friends know the truth and no longer trust him. The heroes form a plan to save their people from Don. I the early morning they get their people back and return home. Blyde Tanires commanded, his brother in arms. Experiencing heavy trauma learns of Tanires past. Which changes everything. Blyde struck with the entity known as madness. betrays Tanire killing his friends and his family then himself. huge gravity shifts stop them in their tracks. Making it hard to breathe and often killing people. Tanire knows he has to end this now. He sends his people to the docks and off the island. He heals Dante and flies to Don. Dante being fully healed knows Tanire can't do it alone. He sets aside his differences and helps Tanire stop Don. Tanire not knowing the extent of his powers nukes the whole island by accident destroying all life. His people sale away as Dante is recovered from the ocean after the blast. Tanire flies on to the ship and sails away with what's left of his people.
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Madness has a bold and emotional core — Tanire’s arc is tragic in the best way, and the world you’ve built feels massive with real stakes. The themes of guilt, betrayal, and power are compelling and give the story weight.
That said, the synopsis is a bit too detailed right now. It reads more like a full plot summary than a focused pitch. With some tightening and clearer structure, this could really shine. Definitely a strong foundation — looking forward to a revised version!
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Hey, @Nakoa. I already posted my feedback for your logline on your Screenwriting Lounge post.
I think your synopsis is a good start.
I suggest describing the kingdom and land in your synopsis. Maybe near the start of the synopsis.
I suggest telling more about Tanire's character in the synopsis. Same thing for the man who finds Tanire, Dante, and any important characters.
I suggest telling what Tanire's abilities are and how he uses them to protect his kingdom.
I suggest breaking up your synopsis into paragraphs.
I suggest checking the synopsis for grammar and spelling.
"Dante challenges Tanire's honor but revealing the truth behind him. His friends know the truth and no longer trust him." What's the truth? I think it's that Tanire has abilities. If so, I suggest making that clearer in "Dante challenges Tanire's honor but revealing the truth behind him. His friends know the truth and no longer trust him."
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Maurice Vaughan 5 sorry it took me so long, on phone you cant see loglines. Okay good notes im going to start making changes.
No problem, @Nakoa.