On the verge of retirement, a disillusioned British judge turns whistleblower and showman, exposing corruption from the bench with flair, fury, and fishnet tights.

SYNOPSIS:

Judge Crispin Higgins is burnt out, overlooked, and slowly fossilising in his own courtroom. Once respected for his razor-sharp integrity and biting wit, Crispin now drowns in paperwork, stale biscuits, and the weight of a justice system he no longer believes in. Then one morning, an envelope of £50 notes lands on his desk, anonymous, unmarked, and glitter-covered, with a note that reads: “Happy Retirement. L. Jones.”

The name is familiar. The bribe is not subtle. And Crispin, for once, refuses to look the other way.

As he investigates, he uncovers signs of systemic corruption: tampered case files, plea deals that make no legal sense, and a trail of suspicious decisions connected to other judges with long lunches and short ethics. All roads lead back to a network of compromised rulings and to Whippet Jones, a low-level fixer with oat milk in his fridge and far too many friends in high places.

Crispin’s efforts put him at odds with the establishment, particularly Lord Stratton-Greig, a silver-tongued powerbroker who reminds Crispin exactly how disposable honour has become. Allies disappear. A trusted court usher is suspended. Even Rosa, Crispin’s estranged and brilliant ex-wife, warns him he’s in too deep.

But Crispin is done being careful.

As pressure mounts, he stages a final act of defiance in court — dressed in fishnet tights and a jester’s hat, armed with spoons and a banjo. What starts as a farce becomes a public unmasking of institutional rot. The courtroom becomes his stage, the jury his chorus, and justice a performance with real stakes.

The Judge Retires is a dry, darkly funny character drama about a man who’s seen too much, said too little, and finally decides to make noise. It doesn’t ask for sympathy, just attention. Beneath the fishnets and glitter is a quiet fury at how easily power protects itself. And how absurd you sometimes have to be just to be heard.