THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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WHAT OTHERS DON'T SEE
By Luba Михайлівна Goncnar
SYNOPSIS:
What Others Don’t See is a psychological animated drama about Nelya, a quiet village girl who moves to the city with her mother. Hoping for a fresh start, she instead finds herself a target of relentless mockery and cruelty from her new classmates. Lonely and hurt, she turns to something dark: an ancient ritual that brings forth a mysterious figure who promises justice. When one of her tormentors dies under terrifying circumstances, Nelya begins to fear the consequences of her desperate act. But the entity she unleashed is not a mindless demon—it has a story of its own. Once a broken boy, destroyed by the same cruelty, he now exacts vengeance on the world. As the boundary between justice and revenge blurs, Nelya must decide whether to embrace the darkness—or find the strength to stop it before it consumes her too. A haunting exploration of pain, silence, and the monsters we create when no one is listening.
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The story is brilliant Luba Михайлівна Goncnar , but this isn't so much a logline, as it is a description with a great tagline following the last colon.
You want to start with your protagonist, her struggle and environment, an inciting action (challenge she must overcome), and then what she needs to do to find peace - or set the world straight.
I would suggest: The target of brutal bullying at her new school, a sensitive teenage girl summons a dark entity to protect her. But when tragedy strikes she must confront the truth to (and this is where you state what she needs to do to remedy the situation).
I definitely see the movie poster for this one, though. It would have the title and tagline looking something like this:
WHAT OTHERS DON'T SEE
(Evocative photo or illustration here)
Monsters are not born… they are made by pain, silence, and a world that refuses to see
Dear Morgan,
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind, thoughtful, and detailed feedback.
Your words not only made my day — they gave me direction. I truly appreciate the way you highlighted the structure and offered clarity on how to sharpen the synopsis and emotional arc. I will absolutely follow your advice and refine the story pitch around the protagonist’s journey and the inner transformation she must undergo.
Your note about the poster, the title, and especially the tagline gave me goosebumps. It means a lot to hear that this story speaks to you — because it was born from real pain and a deep longing for justice and hope.
I’ll keep working to shape this story into something powerful and honest. Thank you again for seeing its heart.
Warmest regards,
Liubov Honchar
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