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MA, WHERE IS YOUR HEAD ?
By Koby Nguyen
SYNOPSIS:
In the remote heights of the Japanese mountains, a mother and her young son live in fragile harmony, suspended between sky and forest. Their days are marked by quiet rituals, soft songs, silent meals, games among the bamboo. But beneath this gentleness lies a dangerous secret: the mother cultivates a potent drug in hidden forest fields, until betrayal poisons her water and her mind begins to fracture. Her gaze grows blank, her songs falter, her silences lengthen. Alone more and more, her son begins to sense presences no one else can see. Unsettling scenes follow: the mother reenacts a temple dance in violent solitude; she runs barefoot around the house like an animal; she claps her hands in the dark, trying to recall a forgotten song. Then, in despair, she hangs herself, but when her body falls, it is headless. Soon after, two men arrive to seize the boy, planning to sell him. But the mother returns, without her head, yet filled with a terrifying tenderness. In a silent fury, she kills the intruders, then carries her son in her arms like a baby. The house, once haunted, is now spotless, flooded with light. As she lays him gently on the couch, the boy whispers: “Ma… where is your head?” She doesn’t answer, only claps her hands, once, twice, the rhythm of their old song. He finishes it alone. The next morning, sunlight filters trrough the blinds. His aunt arrives, asking: “Where’s your mother?” The boy says nothing. He just stares at the window.
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Thank you all for taking the time to read and share your thoughts on my work here on Stage32.
Your support and insights truly inspire me to keep pushing my creative vision forward.
I appreciate every message and look forward to discovering more of your stories as well!
Minh Koby
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2 people like this
Love it, like Hereditary I think A24 or Neon can like it !
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MA, WHERE IS YOUR HEAD is a unique Horror Drama, Koby Nguyen.
I think your logline needs to be tightened up. Here’s a logline template that might help: After/when ______ (the inciting incident/event that sets the plot in motion), a _______ (the main flaw the protagonist has to overcome in the script or an adjective that describes the protagonist’s personality) _______ (the protagonist’s title/job/career) tries to/attempts to/fights to/struggles to/strives to/sets out to/fights/battles/engages in/competes/etc. _______ (goal of story and try to add the obstacles here) to/so/in order to ________ (stakes).
The inciting incident can also be at the end of the logline: A _______ (the main flaw the protagonist has to overcome in the script or an adjective that describes the protagonist’s personality) _______ (the protagonist’s title/job/career) tries to/attempts to/fights to/struggles to/strives to/sets out to/fights/battles/engages in/competes/etc. _______ (goal of story and try to add the obstacles here) to/so/in order to ________ (stakes) after/when ______ (the inciting incident/event that sets the plot in motion).
Loglines are one or two sentences. A one-sentence logline sounds better, and it takes less time for a producer, director, etc. to read it. Try to keep your logline to 35 words or less. Long loglines can make producers, directors, etc. pass on a project.
Avoid using “must” in loglines. “Must” usually means the protagonist is forced to do whatever they need to do in the story instead of doing it willingly. You might need to use “must” in a logline though, like when the protagonist is forced by another character to do something. Using “must” to choose between two options is fine.
Names in loglines are usually for biopics, well-known stories, and franchises (like Mission: Impossible).
Sometimes I put the location and date that the story takes place in instead of the inciting incident if it’s a Period Piece script.
All stories don’t follow this logline template. Biopics, documentaries, and Experimental scripts might not follow the template. The series logline for a TV show can follow this template, but the pilot logline and episode loglines for the show might not.
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read my logline and for your thoughtful feedback, Maurice. I really appreciate your detailed advice and your generosity in sharing your experience. Your comments and your template are very helpful, and I will definitely use your suggestions to improve my logline and make my project clearer. Thanks again for your support!
Best regards,
Koby
You're welcome, Koby Nguyen.
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2 people like this
I love this concept Koby!
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2 people like this
Very interesting…
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I share with you here, more details about my project, with a storyboard and inspiration, thank you to those who will take the time to read:
https://www.stage32.com/lounge/anything_goes/It-s-not-a-demon-It-s-love-brokenRated this logline