THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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CAN'T GET OLD'Z
By Darnay Cockrell
Mocked for her old shoes, a genius teen designs an unbreakable sneaker, rising up as her bullies' parents now work for her.
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1 person likes this
This sounds great, @Darnay! I really like the concept and title!
I suggest adding the stakes to your logline.
"Born into the trenches and mocked for her old shoes, a genius teen turns heartbreak into hustle by designing the Can't Get Old'z sneaker that never ages, creases, or stains to/so/in order to ________ (stakes)."
You could also change "the Can't Get Old'z sneaker that never ages, creases, or stains" to "a sneaker that never ages, creases, or stains" to cut down on words.
1 person likes this
Thanks so much! I really appreciate the feedback — you're absolutely right about tightening the logline and elevating the stakes. While it's not about survival, the stakes are social and emotional: the same kids who mocked her end up wearing her shoes, and their parents work for her company. It’s about flipping the power dynamic and reclaiming pride on her own terms.
You're welcome, Darnay Cockrell. Sounds like an impactful story! I can't wait to watch CAN'T GET OLD'Z!
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It’s not a film just yet—I’m first testing if the story can hold its own against others through competitions type situation.