THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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JUNO IS NOT HERE
By Tessa Clavelle
After escaping her fractured home, a restless teenage girl travels cross-country by train, trying to outrun her pain — but as fleeting strangers and haunting silences follow her west, she must confront her grief or risk losing the one connection that still matters: her little brother.
SYNOPSIS:
Juno Calder is a 17-year-old girl who, in an attempt to escape her tumultuous family life and the boredoms of living in a small town, runs away and embarks on a cross-country trip to California. She is trying to find herself in the adventure, the strangers she meets, and the promise of the sunny shores of California. To communicate with her home, she writes postcards to her family and letters to her little brother, William, who may just be the only thing she misses back home.
JUNO IS NOT HERE
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Tessa Clavelle This is a poetic and evocative logline that immediately captures a sense of wanderlust, discovery, and emotional vulnerability. The phrasing, “in the space between train stations” beautifully sets the tone for a character-driven journey of self-discovery. To elevate it further, consider adding a hint of the stakes or conflict: is she running from something dangerous or toward something specific? A touch more clarity on what’s at risk or what challenges she faces could give this gentle, lyrical concept an added sense of urgency or narrative drive.
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Thank you so much Ashley Renee Smith for your advice. I tweaked it a little - what do you think about it now? Does it sound better?
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Tessa, this is really a nice story! Weldon!
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Kenneth Arinze Ezema Thank you so much!
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Tessa, It’s a beautiful and promising story, but I am missing the conflict Juno will face and the challenge she will have, the stake. Follow this guideline to rewrite it in a more compelling version: After a _______ (the main flaw the protagonist has to overcome in the
script or an adjective that describes her personality
)woman/teacher/lawyer/etc. encounters an identical version of herself, she
_______ (goal of story and try to add the obstacles here) to/so/in order to
________ (stakes). I hope it helps you :))
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Sandra Isabel Correia I will definitely tweak the logline! Thank you so much for your feedback!
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Unique concept, and creative idea to use a postcard for the picture, @Tessa!
I suggest changing "17-year-old girl" to "teenager" unless her being 17 is important to the story.
I suggest making "lose the bond that matters most" clearer. Right now, it's vague, and I wouldn't want a producer to pass on your script because of it. It's happened to me and other writers.
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Maurice, thank you for your feedback! I will tweak it.
You're welcome, Tessa Clavelle. I like the change you made! I can see this being a hit Dramedy.
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Tessa Clavelle - first, congratulations on writing the script! Huge accomplishment! I love the logline, but a question I'd ask as a producer is, "If she's escaping a fractured home and tumultuous family life, why would she even take the time to write letters to her family? I think if you left that out, it makes clear the importance of her relationship with her brother -- especially if she sends the postcards only to him. Perhaps the postcards could be clues to her uncovering truths about herself?"
Great job, Tessa!
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Todd, thank you so much for your insight! That gives me some food for thought. I'll make sure to add that to my logline and summary - let me brainstorm!
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