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CAPTIVE #001 - PILOT
By Hamza Farabi
After resurfacing in a forest town, a haunted fugitive with a violent past is exposed by a gang seeking his bounty, forcing him to unleash the truth behind his legendary escape—and the regime that made him a monster.
SYNOPSIS:
In a lawless town on the edge of a fractured world, a lone swordsman known only as One — a former enforcer turned fugitive — tries to keep a low profile. But after an encounter in a lively tavern turns bloody, he’s forced to reveal his brutal skill set when a local gang attempts to cash in on his bounty. Flashbacks reveal his harrowing past with the oppressive faction known as Blackwatch and his pursuit of classified intelligence that could tear their organization apart. As he leaves a trail of carnage behind, a new threat emerges: Blackwatch’s most dangerous weapon, now enhanced, has been deployed to kill him quietly.
Captive #001 is a violent, high-stakes pilot episode that introduces a world of brutal espionage, moral complexity, and a deeply damaged protagonist whose humanity flickers beneath his merciless persona.
Creator’s Note:
This screenplay features the original character One, created by Hyun (Hyun's Dojo). All rights and credit for the character go to him. This adaptation is a tribute to his creation, expanding One's world into a cinematic, serialized experience. Used with full permission and creative blessing. Special credit and creative respect are extended to Hyun for inspiring this reinterpretation.
CAPTIVE #001 - PILOT
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CAPTIVE #001 sounds interesting, Hamza Farabi. Nice job on your first ever logline! I think it needs a better flow though. Here’s a logline template that might help: After/when ______ (the inciting incident/event that sets the plot in motion), a _______ (the main flaw the protagonist has to overcome in the script or an adjective that describes the protagonist’s personality) _______ (the protagonist’s title/job/career) tries to/attempts to/fights to/struggles to/strives to/sets out to/fights/battles/engages in/competes/etc. _______ (goal of story and try to add the obstacles here) to/so/in order to ________ (stakes).
The inciting incident can also be at the end of the logline: A _______ (the main flaw the protagonist has to overcome in the script or an adjective that describes the protagonist’s personality) _______ (the protagonist’s title/job/career) tries to/attempts to/fights to/struggles to/strives to/sets out to/fights/battles/engages in/competes/etc. _______ (goal of story and try to add the obstacles here) to/so/in order to ________ (stakes) after/when ______ (the inciting incident/event that sets the plot in motion).
Loglines are one or two sentences. A one-sentence logline sounds better, and it takes less time for a producer, director, etc. to read it. Try to keep your logline to 35 words or less. Long loglines can make producers, directors, etc. pass on a project.
Avoid using “must” in loglines. “Must” usually means the protagonist is forced to do whatever they need to do in the story instead of doing it willingly. You might need to use “must” in a logline though, like when the protagonist is forced by another character to do something. Using “must” to choose between two options is fine.
Names in loglines are usually for biopics, well-known stories, and franchises (like Mission: Impossible).
Sometimes I put the location and date that the story takes place in instead of the inciting incident if it’s a Period Piece script.
All stories don’t follow this logline template. Biopics, documentaries, and Experimental scripts might not follow the template. The series logline for a TV show can follow this template, but the pilot logline and episode loglines for the show might not.
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Nice concept, Hamza Farabi ! Yet, not totally clear from the logline yet. To polish it, you could shorten the first part: avoiding focusing on the first scene, you can jump directly into the action and the conflict, maybe giving a hint on the inciting event. Now it seems that everything starts because the main character was simply noticed by someone else, while in the synopsis, he reacts against a gang.
1 person likes this
Thanks to everyone who commented. I've listened to your criticism and edited the logline accordingly. I appreciate the advice.
You're welcome, Hamza Farabi. I like this logline better. I'm excited to watch this!
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