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At the behest of Markandeya, the Time Creator, Freddy and Joe, two wrongly convicted thieves, time jump to their past detective lives to hunt the real killer Gabby before he escapes to dystopian 2100-Edge, where all clings to a QUBIT particle.
SYNOPSIS:
DETECTIVE THIEVES
(Stay back! Universe Bangs!)
DETECTIVE THIEVES opens in the year 2017 and follows Freddy and Joe, two clever dwarf thieves who, after robbing Miranda, an old lady, feel guilty and come back to her mansion to return the stolen goods. When they re-enter the mansion, they see she is dead. Though innocent, they are convicted of her murder and sentenced to life in prison.
In 2024, the Immortal Time Originator, Markandeya, intervenes and orchestrates a daring prison break, freeing the duo and revealing that they are chosen individuals with a cosmic mission. He sends them back to their former detective lives as Rohan and Ronnie to uncover the truth of their own demise and the uncanny events surrounding the deaths of Miranda’s husband and her niece. He also gives an hourglass to watch, as there is a deadline for every task all does, Mar.
Freddy and Joe, now residing in their detective personas, dive deep into their investigation. Their quest leads them to Gabby, a ruthless, cunning, and evil figure whose greed knows no bounds. They find that he is obsessed with some hidden treasure and a forbidden artifact Miranda safeguarded in a secret dungeon.
Just as Freddy and Joe piece together the evidence needed to nab Gabby, he escapes to the year 2017, coinciding with the timeline in which Freddy and Joe originally looted Miranda. Guided by Markandeya, the duo travels back to 2017, determined to intercept Gabby. They arrive just in time to witness him murdering Miranda in cold blood and seizing the hidden treasure including the forbidden artifact.
Their pursuit of Gabby continues as he escapes once more, this time to 2024. Markandeya equips Freddy and Joe with quantum running shoes and chrono-ports to encounter Gabby, who is all set to sow chaos in society. When Freddy and Joe are all set to nab him, he slides himself away into a deep swamp which leads to an opening in the Time Bracket. From there, he leaps into an unknown space. Despite their frantic efforts, Gabby escapes to a dystopian 2100. There, he meets his allies so he can move to the only prohibited area in the universe: the 2100-Edge.
Markandeya, seeing that Freddy and Joe are not compatible with their mission, transforms them as Lizzy and Laila, the mighty avenger warriors. Lizzy and Laila time-jump to 2100 with his guidance, and track Gabby. Arraying his allies, Gabby confronts them. Fierce war ensues and the universe is trembling under its weight. The stakes reach new heights now as Gabby activates the little life machine and sets it to make him invisible only to them. Frightened and unable to face the advancing avengers, Gabby leaves the dying allies and travels his lonely journey towards the disastrous 2100-Edge, knowing that even Time Originator cannot challenge him if he reaches there.
Markandeya gives a counter tool to Lizzy and Laila so they see Gabby and where he is heading to. Markandeya asks Lizzy and Laila to reclaim the device, as it is the only way to weaken Gabby and bring him to justice. Disguising themselves as women travelers needing help, they approach him, shredding enticements, but sensing who they are, he outwits them and escapes to 2100-Edge—the hazardous boundary of TIME itself, where all clings to a hanging qubit particle.
Lizzy and Laila follow Gabby’s trails with tremendous speed and reach the 2100-Edge. Seeing them and having no other way to go, Gabby jumps onto the hanging qubit particle—the ultimate—and clings to it. He knows there is no chance they reach him at this quantum edge where all manifests and merges into it, being the cornerstone of the universe’s balance. As soon as Gabby lands on it, the particle begins to sway, and in the chaos, the tiny Life Machine slips from his grasp and falls into a dangerous quantum entanglement.
Markandeya is alarmed, and the hourglass depletes rapidly, signaling the universe’s imminent collapse into nothingness. He stops Lizzy and Laila from chasing him further to the particle as he knows what happens if they make a move. One Move, Universe Bangs into Nothingness. Then no stars. No light. No life. Just void… You’re no more! Says Time Originator, who is all stuck to the space, immobilized. He, seeing the sudden developments, roars loudly, helpless! The very moment Lizzy and Laila change themselves to Freddy and Joe.
Now, only one can save the universe! The cosmic Being looks at Freddy. As energy envelopes Freddy, the Originator gestures to Freddy, who nods knowingly. Yet, he cannot move as he wishes. He weighs the situation and realizes that any physical movement will place all at stake. He closes his eyes…
Markandeya and Joe hold their breath. Freddy takes a deep inhale, his mind sinking into the depths of contemplation, entering his subconscious. The particle sways dangerously, threatening to snap. The hourglass is nearly depleted—only one grain of sand remains. Slowly, it slides downward, teetering on the brink. If anyone moves, it will all end... a Bang into Nothingness. No stars. No light. No life. Only void.
Open your eyes, Freddy! NOW! If not... no more deafening silence, no darkness to light, and no Time at all! No past. No present. No future... Oh, FRE...d...d...y...y...
* * * * * * * * * *
PREMISE:
Two dwarf thieves, Freddy and Joe who are wrongly convicted of murder, make a prison break with the help of an Immortal Being, and fall back into their former lives of Detectives, but to prove their innocence they must walk through the past, present and future, changing forms and genders to find out the real killer Gabby
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1 person likes this
This sounds like an exciting, epic story, Punalur Chandrasekharan! And fun way to end a logline. I don't think you need a comma after "clever thieves," and I don't think you need "must."
2 people like this
Punalur Chandrasekharan This logline introduces an imaginative, high-concept sci-fi thriller with stakes as big as the universe itself, and there’s a lot of creativity in the world-building and terminology. However, the logline is currently too complex and dense to follow clearly in one read. Phrases like “Time Originator,” “2100-Edge,” and “QUBIT particle” are intriguing but need more grounding or explanation to make the story accessible. Simplifying the structure and focusing on the core plot: who the protagonists are, what they must do, and what’s at risk, will help the powerful ideas shine. The phrase “ONE MOVE, THE HOURGLASS SHATTERS…” is visually striking but feels more like a tagline than part of the logline. Consider separating it or reworking it into a concise, cinematic payoff.
1 person likes this
Hi Ashley,
Hope you are fine. Thank you for your invaluable feedback. I’ve revised the logline based on your comments and simplified its structure, ensuring the core plot points remain intact while leaving space to explore the stakes. As you rightly pointed out, the logline reflects a world-building effort to unveil an all-encompassing universe. My aim is to analyze the very essence of existence—how the balance between good and evil sustains the cosmos, and how unchecked evil threatens its collapse.
I have envisioned Freddy and Joe as dwarf heroes, breaking away from conventional archetypes. Their transformation—from thieves to detectives to agender warriors, and ultimately to cosmic game players—marks a compelling journey of growth, redemption, and responsibility. Even as Markandeya, the Creator of the universe (Originator of Time), falters under the weight of impending collapse, it is Freddy and Joe, two seemingly insignificant individuals, who rise to take control and avert destruction.
At its core, this story dissects faith, morality, and the delicate cosmic balance between good and evil. The looming threat of Gabby, the dystopian 2100 Edge, and the fragile quantum particle embody the tension at play. Guided by Markandeya, the heroes’ journey celebrates piety and interconnectedness, offering a metaphor for how the humble and overlooked sustain the marvels of existence. This narrative, about the universe as the manifestation of 'Time-Nothingness, the Eternity,' serves as an ode to the power of subtle, indivisible elements that sustain the grandeur of life and the cosmos itself.
Regards
Sincerely
Punalur Chandrasekharan