This sounds interesting, Banafsheh Esmailzadeh. Unique concept. I think the first part of your logline is fine, but I think "what it really means to live in her literal ivory tower as everyone else pays the price" is vague.

Thank you Maurice Vaughan, I'm still fine-tuning this idea some more but the character in question appears throughout the series and does indeed live in an ivory tower untouched by the chaos of the world around her lol.

Banafsheh Esmailzadeh, your logline presents a big, ambitious sci-fi premise with interesting contrasts: loyalty versus revenge, destruction versus reflection, and chaos versus isolation. The idea of four agents executing the revenge plans of a galactic terrorist gives the narrative scale and momentum, while the subplot of a lone human woman grappling with existential questions in a literal ivory tower adds thematic depth and a symbolic layer.

To enhance the clarity and impact, the logline could benefit from a bit more precision. For instance, clarifying who the terrorist’s wife was and what happened to her might help us better understand the motivation driving the story. Similarly, defining what’s at stake for the woman in the ivory tower: does she hold power, or is she trapped? Those details would help anchor the emotional core of the story. Right now, there’s a lot of intrigue, but refining the language and relationships between the characters could help the reader visualize the narrative more clearly and emotionally invest in the outcome.

Thank you Ashley Renee Smith, that helps a lot, especially since I'm still cooking up a lot of the more critical details and figuring out a lot of their motivations. It's part of my second life's work series (I have a few lol) so the overall story is quite big and I'm thinking this one deals directly with a major event only alluded to in the other entries so I'll definitely keep your questions and points in mind :D

You're welcome, @Banafsheh. Your logline is a great start. What's the woman's goal in the story?

Maurice Vaughan I'm thinking since in her other appearances throughout the series she's deliberately staying in her bubble and observing everything without doing anything, this is the one where she finally grows a conscience (so far in her appearances she's not hinted to be a bad person but rather woefully misguided and out of touch; everything only ever happens to everyone else, after all). She's the type of person who COULD do better but always chooses to be selfish; in a previous appearance she had the opportunity to shelter the daughter of the warring couple in question who had nothing to do with either side but she didn't want to ruin the "peace" of being an uninvolved party so she didn't, even though she had the means to do given she owns the entire moon she lives on. I'm thinking since she realises it's one thing to choose to be alone and another to be forced into it because everyone else is dead makes her want to stop being a parasite and actually choose to do a good thing to make up for all the times she didn't.

That's tricky, Banafsheh Esmailzadeh. I thought about it a while, but I'm not sure how to add her part in the logline without making it too long. The woman's story is a subplot, right? If so, I suggest focusing on the main plot in the logline and mentioning her story in the series synopsis, pilot synopsis (if she's in the pilot), and pitch.

Maurice Vaughan yeah her part is probably going to be a subplot unless she has a bigger role and even ends up coming into contact with the terrorists somehow or another. I haven’t quite decided yet but I do want this entry to be the one where she has noticeable character development. So far she’s appeared twice in the novel series and once in the comic series where she was selfish and out of touch with very little influence on the overall story.