GENRE: Thriller
LOGLINE:
Bianca has finally met a man who gives her hope for love again. But when she arrives for their third date, an unknown phone call comes instead of him: she has 29 minutes left to live. To survive, she must obey the caller’s commands, and decide whether to sacrifice innocent lives… or her own secret.
29 MIN sounds suspenseful and intense, Emy Dust. I think your logline needs a better structure though, and I suggest not putting a question in your logline. Something like: After/when ______ (the inciting incident/event that sets the plot in motion), a _______ (the main flaw the protagonist has to overcome in the script or an adjective that describes the protagonist’s personality) _______ (the protagonist’s title/job/career) tries to/attempts to/fights to/struggles to/strives to/sets out to/fights/battles/engages in/competes/etc. _______ (goal of story and try to add the obstacles here) to/so/in order to ________ (stakes).
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29 MIN sounds suspenseful and intense, Emy Dust. I think your logline needs a better structure though, and I suggest not putting a question in your logline. Something like: After/when ______ (the inciting incident/event that sets the plot in motion), a _______ (the main flaw the protagonist has to overcome in the script or an adjective that describes the protagonist’s personality) _______ (the protagonist’s title/job/career) tries to/attempts to/fights to/struggles to/strives to/sets out to/fights/battles/engages in/competes/etc. _______ (goal of story and try to add the obstacles here) to/so/in order to ________ (stakes).
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Maurice Vaughan Thank you very much for your advice, I'll have a closer look at the logline and fix it.
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You're welcome, @Emy.
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