A guy once reached out because he wanted to volunteer on a proof-of-concept I was shooting in a few weeks. Great, I thought. He had never worked in film, but he was willing to show up, and willingness counts for a lot. So I sent him a list of jobs we still needed filled. Yes, production assistants. We needed PAs.

His reply was: “Oh, I was thinking like... writer. Like, I could write some of your material.”

I told him, as gently as I could, that writing was not what we needed. More importantly, it was not how this industry works. You build trust first. You help where help is needed. In this case, he was a first-time writer asking to write material I had already finished.

I invited him to help in the other positions but never heard from him again. Last I knew, he was still working in the industry he had been trying to leave.

Networking Is Not A Vending Machine

I think a lot of people misunderstand what networking actually is. They see someone doing something they want to do, approach them, insert one compliment, pitch how great and passionate they are, press the correct button and wait for opportunity to fall out.

“I really love your work. Would you introduce me to your manager?”

Clunk.

That's not networking. That is a vending machine with LinkedIn.

I understand the instinct. Creative industries are extraordinarily difficult to break into, and there is rarely an obvious career ladder.

Careers are often built through relationships, recommendations and chance encounters, so people understandably think: I need to meet someone who can help me. Unfortunately, nearly everyone else is thinking the same thing. The person you're approaching has probably already received fifteen versions of:

“Can I pick your brain?”

“Can you read my script?”

“Can you introduce me to someone?”

“Can you tell me how to get an agent or manager?”

“Would you like to collaborate on my feature film about a depressed vampire who faints at the sight of blood and works in municipal accounting?”

Actually, I might take that meeting out of curiosity.

But when your first interaction with someone is entirely about what they can do for you and all you bring are compliments, you are not starting a professional relationship. You're submitting a request.

Flattery Is Nice. It's Not Currency.

One of the strangest networking habits I see is what I call the compliment sandwich. First comes the praise: “You’re incredibly talented.” Then the request: “Would you read my 118-page screenplay?” Then another compliment: “Your opinion would mean so much to me.”

Sincere compliments are wonderful. But they do not create a professional obligation. Yes, incredibly charming people sometimes make this work. They're the exception.

I remember a Zoom meeting with a parent and their child where I spent about thirty minutes hearing how great the child was. Near the end, they suddenly seemed to realize they had not asked about my work or even offered a compliment. We're not having another meeting.

And if I tell Steven Spielberg I enjoyed Jaws and he's my favourite director of all time, he will not read my script and arrange a meeting with Amblin. Flattery is not value.

Most experienced industry people can tell when a compliment is decorative wrapping around an ask. Real networking starts when you become curious about them instead of what they can unlock for you.

What are they working on? What problems are they trying to solve? What kind of people do they enjoy collaborating with? Where might your experience genuinely intersect with theirs?

Sometimes the answer is nowhere. That's fine. You may have learned exactly what skills you need to build. That will serve you better than telling someone they're great and asking for the keys to Hollywood.

Listen Before You Pitch Yourself

Years ago, I used to think networking meant having the perfect elevator pitch ready. You had thirty seconds to explain who you were, what you did, what you wanted and presumably why the other person should rearrange their professional life around you.

Now I think one of the most useful things you can do in a networking conversation is shut up. Professionally, of course.

Listen. Ask what people are working on and what problems they keep running into. Then actually pay attention rather than waiting for your next turn to pitch yourself. Sometimes the thing they need is something you can genuinely help with.

Maybe a producer needs an editor. Maybe a filmmaker needs a location. Maybe someone needs an actor for a table read. Suddenly you are not asking, “What can this person do for me?” You're thinking, “I might actually be useful here.”

That changes the dynamic, especially if you're willing to help with the work nobody else wants to do. I've heard plenty of stories about people taking jobs they were overqualified for because it gave them a chance to support the production and prove something more important than a title: they do the work.

Ever see those mafia movies where the code for someone you can trust is, “He's a friend of mine”? In this industry, I think the unofficial version is: “They do the work.”

Start With The Value You Actually Have

There is another trap here. Some people hear “bring value” and pretend to have expertise they do not possess. Others think passion compensates for lack of experience. It does not. Passion is valuable, but it is also the entry fee. Hollywood is saturated with passionate people.

Here's the good news: you do not need to walk into every room carrying seventeen professional skills and a spare RED camera. Value can be remarkably simple.

Reliability is value. Being prepared is value. Knowing how to communicate clearly is value. And if you asked someone to coffee or lunch, pay. That shows you value their time.

If you're new, your value may simply be that you work hard, learn quickly and solve problems. Maybe your background is administration. Awesome. This industry always needs that.

That was the opportunity the volunteer on my proof-of-concept had. I did not care that he had no film experience. I had jobs that needed doing. He had an opportunity to walk onto a real set, meet professionals, learn how production works and prove he was someone people enjoyed working with.

Instead, he wanted to leap directly to creative authority. He skipped the relationship and went straight to the reward.

The irony is that if he had shown up, worked hard and been great to have around, I probably would have remembered him. And that memory might have mattered later.

Trust Comes Before Opportunity

This is one of the least glamorous truths about creative careers. People hire people they trust.

That does not necessarily mean their closest friends. It means people they trust to deliver, communicate and not create chaos. It means people they trust enough to recommend, because every recommendation carries some risk.

If I introduce you to a producer, I am attaching part of my reputation to you. If I recommend you for a job and you do spectacular work, great. Everyone is happy. If I recommend you and you arrive three hours late, insult the director and accidentally set craft services on fire, people may have questions for me.

This is why asking someone for an introduction five minutes after meeting them can feel strange. You are asking them to spend professional capital they spent years building before they know whether you are a good investment.

Trust has to come first.

Networking Should Eventually Become Two-Way

That does not mean every professional relationship needs to be perfectly transactional. You do not need to keep a spreadsheet.

“Gave script note: +2 networking points.”

“Received coffee: +1.”

“Recommended cinematographer: +7.”

“Listened to twenty-minute explanation about NFTs: emotional damages pending.”

Relationships are messy. Sometimes you'll help someone and get nothing back. Sometimes they'll help you when you have little to offer. But healthy professional relationships tend to become reciprocal over time. People exchange information, recommendations and opportunities. Sometimes they become friends.

The relationship develops because both people enjoy having the other person in their professional orbit. That is much more powerful than approaching every conversation like a hostage negotiation for career advancement.

I often tell people applying for a job in this industry, or actors auditioning for a role, that there are two primary things people are considering:

1. Are you talented?
2. Do they want to spend 14 hours a day with you?

Both matter.

Be Specific About How You Can Help

One of the easiest ways to become memorable is to be specific. Instead of, “Let me know if you ever need anything,” try:

“If you ever need someone to read comedy pages, I'm happy to help.”

“If you need an editor for short-form material, that's something I do.”

“If you ever need someone to help actors prepare for a table read, give me a shout.”

People can remember specific offers. General ones disappear into the fog of polite conversation. Specificity also shows you understand your strengths. You're saying, “Here is one problem I know how to solve.”

That is professional value.

Respect The No

Another underrated networking skill is knowing when someone is not interested. If someone declines a meeting, does not respond to an email or says they cannot read your script, resist the urge to turn networking into a siege.

People are busy. Sometimes they are overwhelmed. Sometimes they genuinely cannot help. And sometimes they simply do not want to. All of those answers are allowed.

If someone says no and you respond graciously, you may leave a better impression than you realize.

If they say no and you send six follow-ups explaining why their decision is incorrect, or worse, talk behind their back, you have also left an impression. Just a different one.

FYI, never talk behind people's backs. It always gets back to them. Treat networking like Game of Thrones. Remember those two guys who had spies listening everywhere? Yeah... that. I'm not saying people have spies, but I'm not, not saying people aren't listening and won't send word back to whoever you're complaining about.

The Best Networking Often Does Not Feel Like Networking

Some of the strongest professional relationships I have built began with conversations: filmmaking, a shared problem, a joke, a debate about whether the new Star Trek is as good as The Next Generation. It isn't, by the way.

Maybe you help with something small, work together or recommend them for an opportunity. Months or years later, something larger happens.

When our industry went on strike a few years ago, a production coordinator I knew and I started sending each other job postings whenever something looked right for the other person. We weren't close friends. We did that for two years until our circumstances changed.

Do you think that when my next movie gets funded, I'll hire her if she's available?

Yes.

And at the highest rate the movie can afford.

The more aggressively you extract immediate value from every interaction, the less likely people are to want a relationship with you. But if you're curious, reliable, generous and respectful of people's time, they remember.

Not because networking is magic. Because people remember good collaborators.

And, perhaps most importantly, they remember the person who did not introduce themselves and immediately ask for a favour.

So the next time you meet someone in this industry, try replacing one question. Instead of, “What can this person do for me?” ask, “What value can I bring to this relationship?”

And hold off asking for the thing you want. Most of the time, that comes much further down the line. Trust that that's how it should be.

You might be surprised at how many more opportunities magically fall into your lap that way.

Put It Into Practice This Week

Joshua's point about starting with what you bring rather than what you want is exactly what this month's Creative Army Drive is built around.

This week's mission is a simple one: personally invite two friends or collaborators to join Stage 32. Not a broadcast, not a post. A text, an email, a DM to the two people you would actually want in your corner here.

That is networking the way Joshua describes it. You are not asking anyone for anything. You are handing two people access to a community, education, and industry connections they did not have yesterday. And your own network here gets stronger the moment they arrive.

Every member who completes the mission gets a free Stage 32 Pitch Session, and members who complete three or more missions this month are in the running for the Grand Prize, a free Career Development Call.

Click here to read this week's Creative Army Drive blog and jump in.

Let's hear your thoughts in the comments below!

Got an idea for a post? Or have you collaborated with Stage 32 members to create a project? We'd love to hear about it. Email Ashley at blog@stage32.com and let's get your post published!

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